I’ve recently shared a few pieces on male sexuality and sensuality.
I share from what I experience in my work, in sessions and workshops, the questions that people ask.
These pieces have sparked some beautiful, deep and challenging discussions, questions and conversations.
I love the discussions, and what comes from them, the work and workshops, the practices, and more and more I see the invitation in these.
Often there’s a sense of ‘man-bashing’ though, which only drives us further apart and creates polarity.
The more we open the invitation, the more we offer possibility, the closer we come to all of us having more fulfilled experiences and relationships.
There’s something that opens a door for men, something that moves in the body first, then it moves in the heart, then it comes to awareness, giving the mind a different perspective.
The body changes things where the mind often resists.
When the body softens, opens, relaxes, it releases, it let’s go.
It begins to change a pattern.
It begins to shift a belief, that sits subconsciously in the body.
And over time, through experience, the way we are, the way we do things changes.
It’s learning to receive.
And in the beginning its learning to receive, softly, gently.
Learning for the body to receive, for the heart to receive.
For many men sex is about control.
Men come and want to learn to be better lovers by doing more.
The more techniques we learn, the better we’ll be as a lover.
It’s interesting that we don’t say I’d like to be a better lover by receiving more, by being more open.
We want to do, and sometimes the more we do the deeper we go into our patterns, into our conditioning.
Learning to receive, we learn to dance, we learn to flow.
We learn to drop control and hold space.
We learn how to flow into each other.
We learn that as we receive, we open the space for someone to give.
Energies merge.
One of the deepest practices that helps to shift this within us is Quiet Lingam.
Quiet Lingam is a very slow, very gentle experience.
It’s about a man surrendering to receive, in a way that frees him from performance, from pressure.
It’s about a man being touched with tenderness that flows from the heart.
It’s about a man allowing himself to relax, to soften into sensation, into feeling, into emotion.
It’s about a man allowing himself to be present with whatever arises.
It’s about a Lingam being seen, being touched, being held without having to get hard, without having to DO anything.
It’s about a man’s wound being touched, his insecurities, his hurt, his pain, his anger, his disconnect to be acknowledged, and with tenderness, slowly, released.
It’s about a man allowing himself to be open, to be opened.
It’s about a man being vulnerable, revealed, in a space that honours him.
This slow touch, this gentle touch, is what allows us to drop the armour, the defences, the protection we carry.
It allows us to soften to receive.
It allows us to show ourselves.
It allows us to take so much of the macho bullshit, so much of the conditioning and patterning we’ve received as men and let that go.
It allows us to feel, in every way, deeply.
It allows us to expand what we experience as sexual and sensual men.
It opens the channel connecting Heart and Lingam, allowing energy to flow between them.
It allows us to be aware of a more Heart-Centred Sexuality.
Quiet Lingam, also called The Water Massage, is a slow and gentle massage of the groin, the perineum, the testicles and the Lingam.
In our sexuality, even in our self-pleasuring, actually more masturbation, we’re so ‘cock-oriented’ that we don’t touch and explore all of these parts of our body.
This practice opens and softens the entire pelvis as well as our genitals.
There’s something more in this.
It’s how the power of sexuality, the power of sexual energy, can change so much in the world.
When we open to receive more, we’ll not only look at sex differently, we’ll look at life differently.
We’ll ask more, who are we, us men, how are we living, how are we loving?
How are we receiving from life, from the earth?
And in the receiving, we’ll connect to how we give.
The deepening possibility in our bodies, in our hearts, in our Lingams.
Come and learn, come and experience, I invite you…
