The Questions We Shouldn’t Ask

There are some questions we shouldn’t ask.

 

Because the answers make us uncomfortable, they make us squirm inside.

 

Because if we ask them we might have to do something about it.

 

Because if we ask them we bring certain things into the light of day, we acknowledge their existence, and maybe they’re best left unsaid.

 

Because if we ask them we might have to respond.

 

Because if we ask them we might have to look at ourselves, look inside of ourselves.

 

Because if we ask them we make ourselves vulnerable, we open ourselves, we reveal ourselves.

 

Because if we ask them there are things about us we might have to acknowledge.

 

So maybe we shouldn’t ask them.

 

 

One of these questions, that comes up a lot in my world, more a group of questions than just one, are these.

 

 

Would you like to give your partner more pleasure?

 

Would you like to have more love in your relationship?

 

Would you like to have deeper intimacy?

 

And a bunch of similar questions.

 

 

Of course we have to answer ‘Yes’, don’t we?

 

And when we do, we’ll then we have to do something about it, don’t we?

 

 

A lot of us deflect the question with things like we’re happy as we are, it’s OK, we do love each other, the sex is OK etc.

 

It’s generally one partner talking, and you can see the other one tighten up, look away, look down, make a joke, make it OK for them to say that.

 

In that we make it OK for ourselves to not have the fullness of love, pleasure and intimacy that we’d like.

 

We make it OK for someone not to put that energy into us.

 

What is wrong with us?

 

 

So, fuck it, let’s ask the questions.

 

 

Would you like to give your partner more pleasure?

 

Would you like to have more love in your relationship?

 

Would you like to have deeper intimacy?

 

And a bunch of similar questions.

 

 

And let’s move out of our comfort-zone life.

 

Let’s make love and pleasure and relationships and intimacy the most amazing, beautiful, challenging, growing, expanding, scary, mind-blowing adventure it can be.

 

 

Let’s be uncomfortable and say I don’t know that I know how to do this stuff, and I’m going to learn.

 

Let’s say that I’m willing to be an explorer, an adventurer, into my body, your body, my heart, your heart, our pleasure, our love.

 

Let’s say I’m willing to step into the unknown inside of myself, and with you.

 

 

Let’s hold hands and jump.

 

Let’s ask the questions.

 

Let’s be LOVERS, with passion and fire and so much possibility!