This is the possibility…
‘I feel like I had sex for the first time when I consciously relaxed my yoni.
For my entire sexual life I had been tensing up my vagina, making it tight. Because my p**** must be tight.
Not realising that I had been numbing myself to the experience of pleasure this whole time.
I had done a meditation to meet my cervix and in that I felt an overwhelming calm and sense of being relaxed.
When I took that into my experience of love making, everything changed.
At first my yoni was tight with every stroke and when I noticed that, I consciously decided to keep my yoni relaxed.
With every stroke thereafter, I relaxed my yoni, I relaxed my cervix. I could breathe. I could feel and there was SO. MUCH. SPACE.
The more I relaxed, the more space there was for my lover’s c*** to expand into.
Every breath opened me up so that he could fill it.
And this went on and on and I kept opening and opening and he kept filling me and filling me with all this beautiful energy…all because I allowed my Yoni to relax.
I could feel how my tightness kept my pleasure so small.
I could feel how my openness allowed my pleasure so grow big.’
This is what so many women experience…
‘I enjoy sex, I love my husband, and I’ve realised that there’s very little feeling inside of my Yoni. We learnt Yoni Massage and as he was touching me, I couldn’t feel much. I think that’s been there so long, I couldn’t remember a time I felt much sensation inside myself. There was such a sadness with this awareness, and I so look forward to unravelling it.’
And…
‘More times than not penetration is painful for me. Even when I’m really turned on, there’s a moment that’s painful. As I’ve been exploring my body on this healing journey I’ve become aware of how tight the opening and around that of my Yoni is, how much I’m holding onto that.’
So many women talk about these experiences, and so much of it based on the patterning and conditioning we’ve received about sex and pleasure.
And so much of it is based on the experiences we’ve had, being penetrated before we’re ready, unfulfilled sex, having sex for someone else etc.
So much of it is based on the shame, guilt and contraction we’ve had around sex and pleasure.
We often have, we’ve claimed, permission to have sex, but we haven’t claimed the permission for pleasure.
Thinking about this, some things struck me.
We have access to so much information, more than ever. A lot of it is good, some of it’s misleading, but it’s there. Despite that, there is still so much contraction, guilt, shame, fear and more around female sexuality and pleasure.
More people are watching porn than ever, may people use it to get aroused, and still have the same sexual experience. There’s a huge gap between this arousal, which is often purely physical, there’s no heart, no feeling, no emotion.
There’s such a paradox in all of this, which is that, to quote and then paraphrase The X Files, ‘The truth is out there, which says it’s there, but you can’t have it. How about, The truth is within, and when you go there, you’ll find it.
And have it, enjoy it, relish it, savour it, love it, live it. ‘
If we’re willing to slow down, take a breath, and ask ourselves, all of us, men and women, what do we want from sex and pleasure, what kind of experiences, what would we like to feel, what would we like to bring, to share, to give, to receive?
What would we like to explore, what conversations would we like to have?
What would we like to express in our sexuality, what do we need to feel connected and safe?
What are the elements of an experience that are important to us?
And put them all there, the range of possibility, all the different aspects of our sexuality.
This also takes us on the inner journey, and we come to see how much of our sexuality is an inner journey. What are we expressing, how are we doing this, what parts of ourselves are present?
The healing is within us, it’s our inner journey.
And looking at where we started this, numbness, tension and pain in the Yoni.
And the issues that men experience, erection, ejaculation.
Again, looking at where we started with this, the possibility.
A model of healing that’s not stuck in fixing a problem, in contraction, in pain.
A model of possibility.
The relaxation, the openness, the release, the letting go, the feeling, the sensation, the connection, it’s there within us. We’re simply going to uncover it, connect with it.
There’s a new education in this.
An embodied education, a heart education, an education of slowness, of intimacy.
An education for pleasure, for connection.
An education for communication.
An education of exploration and discovery.
An education for feelings and emotions.
An education that’s healing and learning and growing.
An education for making love.
