Something fascinating changes when we shift perspective from having sex to experiencing pleasure.
Actually, a lot changes.
But recently something came to awareness that I’ve never thought about before.
Here’s what it is.
We stop going in straight lines.
The way that we look at having sex is in a straight line, a direct path that goes from step 1 to step 2, 3, 4…however many, or actually we’re looking for as few steps as possible, to get to where we’re going, which is generally to the end of sex, the orgasm.
The thing is that our sexuality, and more specifically, pleasure, is not a straight line at all.
Especially for women, and for men, once we get out of the orgasm obsession.
It’s a spiral, a loop, it goes up, down, around, back on itself.
It pauses, it stops, it vanishes, reappears, goes down a tunnel, comes up somewhere else, changes direction, changes form.
The straight-line is a mechanistic model, a cause-and-effect idea of sex.
And I think it’s been conditioned into us.
It’s part of the ‘porn model’, of sex that so many of us have.
We touch here, this happens, we do this, that happens, we rub here, this happens…
Pleasure is a wide-open field.
It’s filled with possibility, and it’s filled with moments.
Present moments.
The straight-line model is based on past patterns.
The Pleasure Present, when we become curious, when we drop behind what we think it should be, is filled with so many sensations, so many feelings.
The Pleasure Present takes us on a journey, an endless journey, that’s always going to be different.
Because we are different every day.
What’s in our bodies, in our hearts, in our energy, is different every day.
What we want, what we feel, is different.
It’s not in a pattern.
It’s not in the way we think sex should be.
It’s in the wonder-full Pleasure Present.
And if we approach it with wonder, it will welcome us into its mysterious temple.
Its endless temple of creativity.
For to make love is to be an artist, not follow a set script.
It’s to be a creator, because our sexual energy is the energy of creativity.
When we do this, we get in touch with the true nature of our sexuality.
It’s wild, it’s gentle, it’s fiery, it’s slow, it’s fast, it’s loud, it’s quiet.
It’s like nature, it is nature.
And it flows, it burns, it’s a storm, it’s quiet, it’s calm, it explodes…
So, what happens to what we know, because we do know a lot?
And what happens to orgasms?
Because they are, in so many ways, fantastic.
It’s about not throwing anything away, it’s about adding.
It’s about opening to how much more there is.
It’s about becoming aware of what happens when we’re present, and that we need a different way to look at pleasure.
It’s expanding ourselves, into love, into pleasure, into possibility.
Into deeper connection, deeper intimacy.
Deeper into the sacred.
Deeper into our bodies, deeper into our hearts.
It does need a different perspective.
And we do have to learn new ways, different ways, different paths.
To be a lover is to be an artist.
It’s not airy-fairy, not woo-woo
It’s our nature.
We are nature.
And it’s within all of us.
It’s an unlearning of what we’ve been taught about the narrowness of sex.
And a learning about pleasure.
It’s an expansion into ourselves.
Into the greater beings we are.
The excitement of this is that it opens us to so many ways to experience pleasure.
There’s a freedom in this, a liberation from performance, from having to ‘make someone come.’
A freedom from the fear of not being good enough.
A freedom from a model that perpetuates such a lack of fulfilment, such pressure, such misunderstanding of who we are.
And a liberation into the limitless field of the Divine Pleasure Present.
