THE VOCABULARY OF THE LANGUAGE OF PLEASURE

I had some music on in the background the other day and a line from a song vibrated a strand of creativity inside of me.
It was a Tina Turner song, the line was ‘You speak the language of love like you know what it means.’
The connection for me was The Language of Pleasure.

Pleasure is a language.
It’s a language of the body, of the heart, of the mind.
It speaks in so many ways.
It speaks in words, in sensations, in feelings, in energy.
It speaks in our senses.
The language of pleasure is, at times loud and overt, wild, fiery and fierce. And at other times it’s subtle, a whisper, ethereal, ephemeral.
At times it’s blatant and clear, at times poetic, almost elusive.

As much as a language requires us to ‘speak’, which in the Language of Pleasure, means so many things, from our words, to our hands, eyes, mouths, bodies, breath…
It also requires us to listen, for a language opens the door to a conversation.
Which made me aware, something I talk about lots, how much do we listen?
How much do we learn to listen, and listening to the Language of Pleasure requires us to listen with so much more than our ears.
It’s listening with our bodies, with our hearts, with our awareness.
And for many of us, how much of this is a monologue rather than a conversation, a dialogue, a sharing?
Which really means, How much do we just do to someone rather than the dance of sharing?

A language requires a vocabulary, and for many of us the vocabulary of pleasure we have is quite small, quite limited, and often pretty repetitive.
Repetitive meaning that we do the same thing, in the same way.
Our pleasure experiences follow a pattern.
And it’s often the same pattern, where we feel the same things, expect the same things, from the narrow vocabulary we have.

The vocabulary of pleasure is an ever-expanding one.
It involves all of who we are, all of our senses, all of our thoughts, all of our bodies, all of our hearts.
It’s part of the Language of Awareness, because it’s the awareness that takes us beyond the patterns into the presence of what is, the possibility of creativity.
It’s the language of feeling and sensation, and we come to see how we use the same words, and how limited these words are.
We can never fully describe a feeling, it’s a unique and personal experience.
Language is the sharing space, and the more aware we are, the more expressive we can be.
It requires us to go from general words to more specific, from ‘That feels nice’, to ‘The feeling of your touch is soothing and comforting.’

The Language of Pleasure has depth and subtlety, nuance and specificity.
It’s both personal, deeply personal, and the space we share.
Including and beyond the words.
I can see the way your body responds to this touch, this caress, this bite.
And if I listen with my body, I can feel something of your response, which is an expression of intimacy.
Last weekend I taught a sensual touch workshop, and part of the wonder of this is watching people go from a general touch and feeling, into a responsive dance of caress that has different pressure, speed, awareness, presence.
It’s beautiful to see how our Language of Pleasure expands as we go deeper into ourselves, deeper into the experience with another.

The Language of Pleasure becomes the Language of Life, through our Sensuality.
We often connect the word ‘Sensuality’ to sex, to the foreplay of sex.
Sensuality is also how we experience life, the world, each other, even ourselves.
Mostly with little awareness and presence.
Becoming more sensual, and more present in our sensual experience and expression, every day, expands this language.
One of my favourite sensual micro-practices, I teach this so often, is the 1st coffee, or tea, whatever, of the day.
Hold the cup in your hands.
Feel the warmth, the weight.
Breathe.
Inhale the aroma, one breath.
Take a sip, taste, slowly.
Breathe.

I love this idea, the Language of Pleasure, and what a doorway to deepening experience it is.
How it opens us to be more creative, in our communication, in our expression, in connecting, awakening, different parts of who we are.
How it takes us out of repetitive patterns into the excitement of discovery and exploration.
How it deepens the intimacy we have with ourselves, with our lovers, and with life.
And the possibilities it invites us to explore…