The (Yoni) Freedom to Feel



The freedom to feel is the freedom to experience, feeling, sensation, energy, emotion.

It’s the freedom to experience the moment, in the fullness of all that it has to offer.


To feel this requires us to relinquish many things.

It requires us to let go of the patterning around pleasure which is linked to performance and the pressure this creates.

It requires us to let go of achievement.

It requires us to let go of getting it right, making it happen.

It even requires us to let go of orgasm.


We have a model of sex that is in accordance with our world.

It’s based on achievement, on results, on outcome, on performance.

It’s also based on pressure, on judgment.

It’s based on conditioning and patterning and belief.

It’s actually a model of sex that is inhuman, unhuman, that has nothing to do with being human, and how we are, how we work, how our bodies, hearts and energies are.

It’s a model of distraction and contraction rather than a model of possibility and presence.


It’s a model that is expressed so well in one sentence.

‘I have to make her come’, and variations of it.


Essentially what we’ve done is made orgasm the thing, the goal, the crown, the grail.

And we’ve done this at the expense of pleasure, and intimacy, and energy.


I teach Yoni Massage, in many different expressions, to men, to women, to couples. As well as many other sexual practices and experiences involving hands, fingers, mouths, tongues, genitals…

And one of the most important aspects of this teaching is that it’s about pleasure.


Intimacy, connection, energy, sensation, feeling, whatever arises.

It’s about the moment, being here.

Here is pretty good, it’s perfect, what we’re experiencing.

Its the freedom to feel.


As soon as we have to go somewhere, make something happen, we’ve taken ourselves out of the present moment, and all the wonder that it holds.


It’s important to say this here.

Orgasms are fabulous, fantastic, there are so many different orgasmic experiences.

Have all the orgasms you like.

And let them flow as a natural expression of your sexuality, of your play, of where your body is.


The freedom to feel is the freedom to experience the fullness of our sexuality.

There’s a concept of spiritual and emotional bypassing. Part of that is we don’t allow ourselves the moment and all, all that’s in it.

Our sexuality is the same, because as well as the amazing pleasure, it’s also a way for us to feel other things, anger, shame, guilt, blockage in many ways, the spectrum of us.

In that space we’re open, vulnerable, to feel, and to feel everything. When it arises during these experiences it’s a beautiful opportunity for us to look at, heal, clear, understand, grow.

And when our focus is solely on the orgasm, we pass those possibilities.


Then there’s sensation and feeling.

When what we’re doing is only about getting there we don’t allow ourselves, and our partners, the delicious, exciting, endless, limitless ways to feel. We don’t take time to touch, or lick, or whatever we’re doing, everywhere.

We don’t explore, we don’t discover.

And this isn’t only about our partners, it’s about us. There is such arousal, such connection, such mystery in exploring her body, her Yoni. It’s a journey into beauty, into wonder, into the subtle, into magic, into worship. As I write that it makes me think of meditating. If what we’re doing is just about getting to the end of the mediation, how present are we, how connected are we, and how much do we actually feel from it?

I meditated.

Tick the box for today.

I made her come.

Tick the box.


What a different experience in touching really slowly, really gently so that waves ripple through her entire body.

Or awakening places that were never touched before.

Or really feeling some fire and letting that move to her heart.

Or breathing into the sensation so it takes us deep inside.

Or meditating on the sensation of her skin, her clitoris, her G-Spot, and more, under your hands.

Or laughing in the pleasure.

Or crying at what I’m feeling.

Or exploring how many ways I can touch here and asking what you really enjoy.

Or asking how you’d like to be touched today.

Or just connecting.

Or approaching your body in a sacred ritual.

Or telling you what I see as I’m touching you, what I’m feeling and experiencing.


So much.


The freedom to feel.

To be present.

To experience.


I’ve been spending time exploring some different aspects of clitoral massage, which is available for you to learn. As well as many health benefits this has, it helps increase sensation, sometimes enormously. It offers such beautiful possibility, to feel, and feel deeply, wildly, without it having to be anything other than… this.

And when, and if orgasm happens, it’s as a natural flow.


The freedom to feel is not about anything happening or not.

It’s about being in your body, in pleasure.