Earlier this week we were talking about Yoni Massage, what it may or not be.
There’s a really interesting model for this, which actually goes much deeper, into how we view, and do, sex and pleasure.
It’s also one of the ways we can understand how differently men and women view pleasure.
It’s something I’ve been talking and teaching for a while, and there’s an awareness of many teachers talking about the same thing.
Essentially it’s the difference between a linear approach and experience, and something that’s more about space, about spirals, about a path that goes up and down, turns back, circles into itself, pauses, sometimes even vanishes for a while, reappears…
Which is actually a truer expression of how our sexual energy flows, especially in women.
The way that most of us have sex is pretty linear.
We start here, follow the steps and patterns we’re used to, each one leading to the next.
We spend the mandatory, often minimal time at each stage, to get to the next.
To get to the end, the orgasm.
We don’t really take note of what’s happening on the way, what the body is doing, telling us, we’re too set in expectation, in following the steps we know.
It’s like a dance we’ve learned, and we follow the choreography.
When we put this idea in the context of Yoni Massage it changes so much.
The same for Lingam Massage.
It begins with an intention.
Presence rather than a goal.
The journey, the adventure, rather than the destination.
The conversation, the listening, rather than the doing.
The sensation, the feeling, the energy, rather than the technique.
The experience of what is rather than making something happen.
The softening rather than the chasing.
The surrender rather than the forcing.
The intimacy rather than the performance.
The linear experience follows the steps, the techniques, the focus is on getting somewhere.
It’s about doing something to someone.
It’s an experience of judgement based on an outcome, quite a narrow result.
There’s pressure here, that we both have to buy into.
The space, the spiral is about being here, with what is.
It’s a conversation, a dance, that has no particular outcome other than what is.
There’s a relaxation into the feeling, the sensation, the energy, as it moves in the way it will.
The surrender is in the body, the Yoni leading the way.
In trying to make something happen, the chasing, even the forcing, we take the voice of Yoni away.
We can’t hear her sing, whisper, even shout into space.
The space, the spiral, the surrender is a creation of the moment, that comes from listening, feeling, her tissues, and responding.
It’s not a technique, it’s not getting it right.
It’s feeling, seeing where a touch, a caress, a movement goes, then responding.
And being fluid, soft, present enough, to change direction as she moves beneath, around your touch.
The linear path is easy, much easier.
Learn it, do it.
The space, the spiral is more of an awakening.
And here we see how much Yoni Massage is for both of us, rather than me doing something to you.
The surrender is me to myself, me to you, you to yourself, you to me, us to each other.
To the soft and slow and gentle, to the still and quiet.
And to the fire, to the heat, to the raging flames of passion that burn higher and hotter with wanting than many of us can imagine.
Learning and doing the technique, the linear stuff, is just the beginning, it’s a portal to so much more.
And if we get it, it opens the door to a very different experience.
And if we really get it, we see how it changes the way we see sex and pleasure, even love.
It’s where Yoni Massage is a creation, in the moment, and creating us, again and again, in so many ways.
Taking us into the space of wonder and mystery.
Come and explore, come and experience, come and learn.
I’ll share with you how to go from the linear to the limitless space…
I invite you…
