Thoughts on Healing



Over the past week I’ve sat in my studio and listened to stories of deep pain. Much of it has been caused by relationships, or rather what people in relationships are doing. Much of it has been caused by sexual hurt.

It’s the pain of life.


Over the past months I’ve gone deep into myself on my journey of healing and growth.

A great part of this has been sharing ideas and thoughts with Chantal, who teaches me so much. She takes me deeper into understanding.


This is what I’ve come to see.


In the pain we feel we need a shift in perspective to heal.

And I know how difficult that is.

It becomes one of the most powerful things we can do. It creates the possibility of amazing healing and growth.

It begins to free us from the hurt, from the contraction, from the despair, the anger and everything else we feel.

It allows us to see that there is more, that this isn’t all there is, that we have choices we never saw.


The first thing to acknowledge is the perfection of a life that brought us to this point.

During a deep growth process I was shown the steps, the people, the actions, mine and others, the circumstances that brought me to where I am. I saw how every heartbreak, every disappointment, everything I did, brought me here.

I saw how every failed relationship prepared me for this, taught me how to love in the way I do now.


This allowed me to start to bring my energy back to me, into the present.

That takes me from living in the past to living more now.

It releases me, and it releases those I held things with, particularly blame.


It allows me to forgive.

The power of forgiveness is enormous. It’s not only about what we’ve done and what’s been done to us.

It’s about freeing ourselves from patterns.

It’s about claiming ourselves, all of ourselves. It shows us who we are, all of it, the light, the dark, the parts you like, the parts you struggle with, and in time it allows the parts we don’t know to emerge.


From this space I can begin to feel gratitude for everything and everyone.

This isn’t easy.

But when we see the path that’s brought us here and we begin to own that, we begin to see the possibilities.

Everything that’s happened, everyone, every moment is filled with possibility to heal, to grow, to see more than we did.

And if we can see beyond the hurt we can fill ourselves with gratitude for life.


From this comes love.

Love for ourselves, for others, for life.

And everything we do becomes about loving more.


I can only heal myself.

I can only grow myself.

In this I can see that everything is within me. To change anything in the world I need to bring it into me.

As I heal, I open the possibility for you to do the same.

As I accept myself more, I open the space for you to do that.

As I love myself more, I open the space for you to do the same.


We’re not taught to love ourselves, far from it. We’re taught separation and disconnect.

All of our pain comes from this.


In the midst of the hurt we feel none of this is easy.

And it’s not all going to happen at once.

If we can do one thing every day to come closer to this, we’ll be astounded at how much changes.

Be kind to yourself.

Be gentle with yourself.

Love yourself.