‘Come for me, baby!’
‘I’m going to make you come like never before!’
‘Did you come?’
This is what so much of our sexuality is about, has come to.
Making her come.
And in this we’ve put so much pressure on her, on ourselves.
Now before anything else…
Orgasms, all kinds, Clitoral, G-Spot, A-Spot, P-Spot, U-Spot, Cervical, Blended, Expanded, Anal, Breast, Ears, Toes…Are fantastic!
They do so much for us, give us so much, have so many benefits, physically, mentally, emotionally, chemically, spiritually…
We’ve also created a space where orgasms have become pressure, judgement, the criterion by which we judge our sexual experiences.
We’ve taken it out of pleasure, out of sensation, out of feeling, out of energy.
Out of presence.
Into the goal, into the achievement.
A lot of this has to do with ego.
A lot of this has to do with fear.
The fear part is a quick digression, it’s about how we feel as men when we can’t ‘make a woman come.’
What are we sexually without that?
The questions from this is are Whose orgasm is it?
Who is the orgasm for?
And does it matter?
What difference does it make?
Here’s what I thought about.
Your heart knows the difference.
Your nervous system knows the difference.
Your emotional body knows the difference.
And over time, something deep inside of you knows the difference.
And it comes out in tension, emptiness, even resentment over time.
Here’s the thing.
We’re naturally orgasmic.
It’s within us, in our bodies, our hearts, our beings.
The way we’ve been mis-educated, mis-informed, repressed, suppressed, manipulated, disconnected, has taken us away from our natural state.
Our bodies have been designed, created, to have all these kinds of orgasms.
Easily, as a natural flow of pleasure.
By coming closer, returning to to our natural state.
That comes from within us.
Our orgasms.
Not what’s been done to us.
Not what we’re expected to do.
Not to fulfill someone else’s expectations.
Not how anyone else thinks we should be sexually.
Not part of anyone else’s sexual agenda or beliefs.
Not on demand.
Not to satisfy anyone else, make anyone else feel good, worthy, useful.
There’s a freedom in this.
A freedom for us to be present, and to express what’s in our bodies, now.
Which is different every day.
Sometimes it is an orgasm, sometimes it’s orgasmic.
Sometimes it’s the expression and experience of the limitless range of pleasure within us.
So who is the orgasm for, and does it matter?
Over time it does.
Because it’s not just about the orgasm.
It’s about the natural flow of sexual energy, the natural flow of who we are.
That’s sometimes fiery and hungry, sometimes soft and gentle, sometimes quick and sharp, sometimes long and slow.
It’s about honouring this feminine flow.
It’s about dancing with the ever-changing nature of being.
It’s not just about the orgasm.
In a way the orgasm, as wonderful as it is, if that’s all it is, takes us out of the limitless field of pleasure.
The pathways of pleasure open to us, invite us into places of wonder and mystery, of magic and cosmic awareness.
Into the orgasmic field of life.
Whichever way it happens, let it be yours.
Sometimes the orgasm opens the door, sometimes it is the door, sometimes it’s the end, sometimes there’s another path…
Let it be yours.
With the sheer ecstasy of freedom and choice.
