A Shift in Perspective on Oral Pleasure

A while ago a woman asked me a question, How do I give a better Blow-Job?
On the surface it’s a simple question, and as I see more and more, the simple questions have such depth.

We spoke a little about it, and she said that her first thought was about techniques. She thought she didn’t know enough, and if she learned more of the skills involved it would improve her performance.
Then we had a discussion about that, performance.
I asked why she thought of it as a performance, who was she performing for?
She said she wanted to giver her partner the most pleasure.
I said that maybe performance and pleasure weren’t the same thing, that performance was about creating pressure, it was about being judged, graded, given a bronze, silver or gold medal, whatever the criteria were.
So we spoke a little about pleasure.
And whose pleasure. Aah, that struck a chord somewhere.

The Intimate Ritual of Oral Pleasure

It’s Wednesday afternoon I Johannesburg as I write this. I’m sitting outside in the winter sun, the wind is picking up, a cold front is on the way. I’ve just made coffee, which I’m sipping slowly, savoring.
I put my face up to the sun and savour its warmth on my skin, it’s a sensation, as if it’s caressing me, carried by the wind.
Savoring this moment in so many ways.
I’ve been doing some work with Maya Luna, and I’ve loved learning the practice of savoring.

I’m teaching a webinar tomorrow night on Oral Sex, and there’s something about that I’ve wanted to share for a while. Something I’ve started writing a few times that hasn’t been quite there.