The Beautiful and Subtle Art of Clitoral Massage

Being willing to step out of the pattern, being willing to step out of the conditioning, being willing to step out of the expectation, something emerges.
Being willing to ask, What else is here.
Being willing to dance with possibility.
Being willing to dance my hands on your body, something emerges.

Most of us have sex for the end of sex, which is pretty interesting, and pretty limited.
It’s the end that we’re chasing.
The orgasm.
And almost everything we do is about getting there.
And because we’re so focused on there, we tend to not really notice what’s here.

Worship the Pearl

Last week was Coffee and Cunnilingus Day, which came about in response to Steak and Blow-Job Day, which came about in response to Valentine’s Day.
Makes me wonder what’s next.

I write a Coffee Blog, shorter pieces, often very personal. I wrote one for this, Coffee, Hot Cross Buns and Cunnilingus, which had a fabulous response, and led to some beautiful, interesting conversations, some with deep pain and the possibility of healing.

From this my mind wandered over many aspects of this beautiful, delicious, intimate, arousing, worshipful experience.
And from this I’d like to share some aspects of this with you.

Important Sexual Words, in a Clitoral Context

I’d like to share some really important sexual words with you, and then put them in a specific context and experience.
Before you get all excited these may not be the words you’re expecting, and they are words to get even more excited about because they’ll help you have more sex, and more fulfilling sex.
The experience we’re going to connect these words to is something that’s come up a lot lately with people I’ve been working with, and in online discussions and questions. And once you get it in this experience you’ll be able to use it in so many ways.

The (Yoni) Freedom to Feel

The freedom to feel is the freedom to experience, feeling, sensation, energy, emotion.
It’s the freedom to experience the moment, in the fullness of all that it has to offer.

To feel this requires us to relinquish many things.
It requires us to let go of the patterning around pleasure which is linked to performance and the pressure this creates.
It requires us to let go of achievement.
It requires us to let go of getting it right, making it happen.
It even requires us to let go of orgasm.

Cl-itoral Pulsations

Part of Cl-iteracy, which is to be clitorally literate.

To be literate with something is to know it, to have knowledge of it. And to be able to read it, to understand it.

That on its own is a lot. To know her clitoris, this pearl of pleasure. To know its anatomy, to know how its context, how it connects to a woman, to her body, her heart. And to know how to pleasure, the limitless possibilities of pleasure, this jewel. Which is what the French call her clitoris, bijou, a jewel.

G-Spot Holding for Pleasure

There’s something interesting about touch and pleasure touch, sexual touch.
We think that we need to move, and move all the time.
And for many of us the pattern of movement is hard and fast, harder, faster.
Our bodies have become conditioned to this style of stimulation, both men and women. So much so that when a different touch comes along, particularly a slower touch a gentler touch, we often don’t feel much.

This Divine Body

From the ends of your toes to the tips of your fingers to the top of your head.
Your Divine Body.

There is a lifetime in your body, a lifetime of sensation, a lifetime of feelings, a lifetime of emotions.
Two, an egg, a sperm, came together to make one, you.
In this, your divine body.
There is no other like you, unique beauty in this skin.
Your skin holds you perfectly, surrounds you, gives you a home.

To make love with you, to make love to you, is to make love to all of you.
All of you, all of your divine body.

Yoni Massage and the Practice of Time

I was recently asked to teach a course on Yoni Massage for a group of practitioners.
This filled me with excitement for a few reasons.
The first is I love to teach, and I love to inspire others, and the more I’m able to inspire you, the more inspired I get, we all expand.
In this expansion, and in the teaching, in the creating of the course, in putting any workshop or retreat together, I learn. And when I learn I get more inspired to share. As I put a course together, even if it’s something I’ve been teaching for years, there are always new insights and understandings. Many of these come from the questions you ask, the discussions we have, and the practices, the practices, the practices. So much understanding emerges from the practices. This understanding allows the practice to expand.

Breast and Heart Massage

Breast and Heart Massage is the space where healing, relaxation, acknowledgement, sensuality, arousal, love and nurturing meet.
It’s often an experience of deep emotion, bringing so much to awareness.

For many women breasts are symbolic of nurturing and nourishing, and for many women that’s mostly been in giving.
There’s deep patterning and conditioning around this.
You give, you nourish others, you nurture others.
You do so much to make others happy.
You do for others, often at the expense of yourself.


The other day I was doing a clitoral massage. This was in the space of healing, of pleasure, of energy, of sensation.
In the moment something came to awareness in an emotional rush, deeper than ever before.
How incredibly mysterious, how incredibly magical, how incredibly fascinating, how incredibly beautiful a clitoris is!