The Penetration of Life
Every moment of life is an invitation, a seduction, a penetration, an opening, a welcoming.
Every moment is an intimacy.
With ourselves, with our bodies, with our senses, with our breath.
Life is sex, sex is Life, expressed in the delicious awareness of sensuality.
In this awareness, the more we live it, feel it, the more it becomes our natural state.
It’s not something we do, it’s something we become.
It’s something we are.
Sensual.
Lovers.
All Orgasms are Different
For many of us the model of sex is based on what we think it should be, how we think it should be, how we think it should look.
This is often a porn-based model, filled with the idea of performance and expectation.
Orgasm, the way we express orgasm, especially for women, has been caught up in this model.
The expectation of it is that there’s lots of moaning, groaning, screaming, shouting.
There’s lots of writhing, wriggling.
There are earthquakes and stars colliding…
Free Yourself in the Body
I was sitting at the airport in Doha on the way to Ireland, and I tried to get into my website to do some work.
It wasn’t happening, it was blocked for being an adult content website.
It made me realise how fortunate we are to have the openness around sexuality that we do, the access and the opportunity.
And then I realised how limited that freedom is for many of us.
Make Time for Pleasure
A lot of times, if we don’t make time, it doesn’t happen.
Make time for pleasure.
Make time for intimacy.
Make time for connection.
Make time for play.
There’s something I hear lots from people I work with.
‘We don’t have time.’
I’ve come to see this.
We have time for so many other things, we don’t make time, for each other, for ourselves, for pleasure and intimacy.
Your Own Pleasure Intimacy
Your sexual intimacy is about you, it begins with you and it’s within you.
We’ve been conditioned to the idea that it’s outside of ourselves, about someone else, that we’re sexual and sensual beings when we’re in a relationship, when we’re having sex. And we tend to think about ourselves sexually in the act of self-pleasuring.
You are a sensual and sexual being, and your intimacy and pleasure are not dependent on any other.
Look within.
This Body of Possibility, Awakening
This week we begin a series of workshops in Ireland.
I’ve called these The Body of Possibility, Awakening.
Our bodies are just this, a field of possibility.
Limitless possibility.
I think it was Caroline Myss who said that our biology is our biography.
This body is the story of our lives.
It holds our hurts and pains, our rejections and abandonment.
It holds our contractions, our withdrawals, our tears.
It also holds our pleasures and desires.
What Do You Want (Sexually)
‘Tell me what you want
What you really, really want!’
I’ve never been a Spice Girls fan, but the line has stuck in my head.
Here’s the thing, so often we don’t know what we want, sexually, sensually, intimately.
Over so many years of doing this work I’ve seen this so much, and lately it’s come up a lot, more from women than men, but men as well.
It really makes us think, when someone asks us what we want.
And when we go beyond the often narrow expression of pleasure, the pattern and the conditioning, we don’t know what to say.
And this is before we even think about asking for what we want.
Taoist Sexual Healing Massage
Taoist Sexual Healing Massage is one of the most beautiful and powerful expressions of touch and sexual energy.
One of the pillars of Taoist sexuality is using our sexual energy, which is our life force, for health and longevity.
That’s what the massage does, it balances our entire energy system every time you receive it.
It keeps the energy in the body, allowing us to use it for health, for creativity and for meditation, for access to higher states of energy and consciousness.
The Possibility of Healing, Love and Pleasure
Yesterday we finished The Sex Expo in Cape Town, this week I’m sharing a series of workshops, and in a few weeks I’m in Ireland to share with you, workshops and sessions.
A while ago I received a letter from a man I shared some of this journey with.
I share it with you because so many of us have had similar situations in our lives, and so much of this has been painful, deeply painful. Sometimes to the point of relationships, marriages ending, families being broken up, and the cycle of this repeating through generations.
Tears on my Chest
I sat with a man in Yab-Yum, holding him, naked chest to naked chest, heart to heart.
We sat in stillness and breathed, coming into our bodies, softening into each other, into the warmth of our skins, into presence.
I began to rock him, to slowly move his body.
We softened into each other, into relaxation, into the breath, into the movement.
I felt the vibration deep inside of him, felt it rise to his heart, felt his body tremble.
I felt his tears on my chest.
My heart melted.
Sacred tears.
Touching Into The Yoni Vortex
‘Stillness. Complete stillness. In the touch and in my mind. An experience unlike anything I’ve felt before- energetically, emotionally and physically.
An invitation to my yoni to open… not just to me, not just to the touch, but to life. All of life.
Not rushing. Not forcing. And when those thoughts of rush and movement came into my awareness, a surrendering, allowing the moment to be what it is. To be as it is. And suddenly, in the gentleness, in the deep deep desire, she opens. Slowly.. inching open, like a flower petal blooming…
Penetration, Heart to Heart
At the opening of her Yoni, pause.
Before you enter her, pause.
Be still, so still.
And so much happens in this stillness, this moment of quiet.
In this moment, this stillness, there’s a listening to your lover, to her body, to her heart.
You’ll only hear it, feel it, in the stillness.
You’re feeling for her to open for you, to welcome you, to draw you in with the invitation of softening.
Healers and Lovers
I think we need more lovers than healers.
We need more people to hold a space for us to feel loved in, simply loved.
And this is where the healing happens.
It’s in the space of being.
It’s in the space of being heard, of being seen.
It’s in the space of being who we are, as we are, and in time to come to the deeper parts of who we are. In time to connect with parts we’ve separated from, been separated from. In time to find the essence of who we are.
We need more people to hold us in love.
Welcoming Yoni
On the weekend we shared a G-Spot Massage webinar, which, by the way, was a fantastic event.
At the end of it we have time for questions and comments, and someone said something that’s been on my mind for a while. I actually started writing something about it, it wasn’t quite there yet.
‘It was as if her Yoni was drawing your fingers in, taking them deep and stronger on her own.’
G-Spot Whispering
I’ll share something with you.
This delicate, this amazing place, this wonder-full structure, in your body, wakes up with a whisper.
She responds to a greeting that is slow and soft.
A greeting that’s offered with love.
There’s a desire within your G-Spot, a desire to express herself, in pleasure, in energy.
And in fire, such fire, such passion.
And it begins with a whisper.
The Sexual Energy of Life
Every time we look into each other’s eyes, energy travels from me to you, you to me.
Every kiss, every touch, energy.
I breathe your breath into me, I take your essence, I give you mine.
Every touch, energy.
We go deeper into each other.
There’s a dance of light and colour between us, unseen, yet known.
It sings, it laughs, it shouts, it weeps, we don’t hear it.
I enter you, you receive me, energy.
In the liquid meeting of our bodies, energy.
10 cm of Cloth
One of the experiences I offer is called Water Flow Massage.
It takes place in a heated pool, it’s a touch experience, an intimate and connecting experience. For some people it’s deeply healing. Most people get into the water nude, it’s not required, it’s whatever you’re comfortable with.
In Johannesburg we have a dedicated pool for this experience.
A while ago I was doing this in a different city, and found a pool to use. The pool was part of a swim school, we were there at night, nobody else around. A while after the event I was teaching there again and wanted to book the venue. I was turned down, people had complained that there were nude people in the pool.
Their focus was the 10 cm of Cloth, of a bathing suit that covers the genitals.
The Yoni Touch
What’s interesting is that pleasure is a path of healing, but pleasure with a shift in the way we experience it.
The shift is in a touch that is slow, so slow.
Lingam Healing, A New Practice
There is a deep practice of Lingam Healing, male healing, heart healing.
It’s a practice of presence.
It’s a slow practice, it has very little movement.
It’s a practice of time, in two ways, the time it takes each time, and the time it takes for a man to relax into it, to receive it.
We Can’t Make Love, It’s There
I was thinking about making love, and some interesting things came to awareness.
Often in workshops and discussions there’s a question that comes up, which is what’s the difference between having sex and making love.
Is it just semantics or is something there?
Something is definitely there.
The Merry Masturbatory Month of May
In the sexual calendar May is traditionally Masturbation Month.
I was thinking about this, and thinking about how for many of us masturbation is actually functional more than anything else.
The function of masturbation is orgasm.
And everything that goes with it, a few moments of release, relaxation, stress-release, tension-relieving, sleep-aid etc.
These are all fine.
And there’s more.
The more is when we expand our awareness and practice to self-pleasuring.
The Sensual Meditation of Touch
One of the most beautiful things to come out of the journeys of healing, exploration and growth I share with people is how our sexuality and sensuality connect to almost every other aspect of ourselves and our lives.
One of these is how sensual practices become a meditation.
Sharing Yourself
So many of us build walls of protection, create barriers of safety, so that we may not get hurt.
We defend our hearts, we defend our feelings, we defend the precious, fragile place of love.
And when we do this we enclose ourselves.
The Questions We Shouldn’t Ask
There are some questions we shouldn’t ask.
Because the answers make us uncomfortable, they make us squirm inside.
Because if we ask them, we might have to do something about it.
Because if we ask them, we bring certain things into the light of day, we acknowledge their existence, and maybe they’re best left unsaid.
Because if we ask them, we might have to respond.
The YoniLingam Meditation of Gazing
YoniLingam Meditation of Gazing is looking with, through, the eyes of your heart.
It’s a meditation on loving, accepting, acknowledging, in the giving and in the receiving.
It’s a meditation on presence, sexual presence, heart presence, body presence.
It’s a meditation where we bring our heart into our gaze, where the vision within the vision, is one of love.
It’s a meditation where we open ourselves to receive, to be seen.
There is deep healing in the giving, deep healing in the receiving. Healing through being rather than doing.
Keep The (Sexual) Energy in the Body
For sexual awakening
For sexual healing
For sexual energy
Keep it in the body
There is such power in our sexual energy, such power in our pleasure.
It’s a path of healing, of growth, of creativity, of abundance, of vitality, of intimacy, of learning, of self-inquiry, of meditation, of spirituality.
THE POSSIBILITY and SHOULD of LOVE and PLEASURE
Two words that have amazing impact on our pleasure, our relationships and our love.
Possibility and Should.
I talk a lot about Possibility, and recently 2 people who have been on healing and growth journeys have embodied this.
One, an artist, created a Mandala of Possibility, which is the image I’ve used for this piece. The other had a tattoo on his chest, about the limitless possibility of every moment.
G-Spot Holding for Healing and Pleasure
There is such healing power in pleasure.
Conscious Pleasure.
Pleasure opens us.
Pleasure changes our bodies chemistry, Pleasure touches our nerve-system.
Pleasure reaches deep inside of us, to a place beyond words.
In pleasure there is release, there is letting go.
In pleasure our energy changes, our patterns change.
In pleasure there is healing, deep healing.
Pleasure is the space of possibility.
Deep Erotic Experience
There are moments of Erotic experience, moments of deep pleasure, moments of sexual energy, moments of intimacy, moments of the heart, moments of the body, that have no words.
They’re sacred moments, moments of an open heart.
Moments that show how vast the space of the heart is.
Moments that arise from deep within us.
Moments of eyes, of breath, of touch.
THE ESSENCE OF SENSUALITY
The Essence of Sensuality is Life.
The Essence of Sensuality is Love.
The Essence of Sensuality is Feeling.
The Essence of Sensuality is Awareness.
The Essence of Sensuality is Intimacy.
The Essence of Sensuality is Possibility.
In a few weeks I’m hosting a retreat called The Essence of Sensuality.
We have these great names for workshops and retreats, and I was thinking, what does it actually mean, The Essence of Sensuality?
Yoni Anatomy – The Beautiful Mystery
Something landed for me with quite a Thunk! last week.
It’s actually been there for a while, and really made itself known.
I write a lot about Yoni, and Lingam Massage.
I do a lot of that in my work.
And I am not teaching these nearly enough.
For healing, for pleasure, for growth, for energy, for intimacy and more.
It’s time to change that.
And I’m starting next week with a webinar on the Beautiful Mystery of Yoni Anatomy.
Expanded Sensual Possibility
Something exceptional happened last week.
On my workshops in Cape Town were 2 disabled men.
One of them had lost a leg, the other was blind, had been since birth.
It’s always been important to me that this work is inclusive and available to everyone.
This was a big experience for all of us, emotionally, physically, energetically, sensually.
Presence in Deep Yoni Massage
There is something fascinating that happens in Deep Yoni Massage.
And I’m using the word deep in a few different ways here.
And all of them are about presence, connection, intimacy, awareness, the heart.
Which is the journey of the guide, an inner journey. I’m using the word guide instead of giver, doer, because you’re simply guiding the energy, guiding her body
Sexual Energy
Energy is not limited to time or space, it’s everywhere.
Our sexual energy is a fascinating force.
Its part life-force, part vitality, part creativity, part human, part spirit.
And so, so delicious!
It’s mysterious, magical, magnetic.
And once you’ve had a taste of it, a touch, once you’ve felt it inside of you, once you’ve experienced it in your body, you just want more.
YoniLingam, The Limitless Experience
I recently developed 2 new experiences, one is a Yoni Massage the other a Lingam.
They’re both slow, very slow.
And soft.
They’re a blend of meditation and touch.
They’re healing and pleasurable, energy and expansion.
Quiet Lingam, Men Receiving
A while ago I wrote a piece about a practice I teach called Quiet Lingam, I also sometimes call it the Water Massage, it came up as a memory, I’m sharing it here, with some things added.
It’s about men receiving, touch, sensation, pleasure.
The Quiet is that it’s gentle and slow, it flows like Water.
And one of the important elements of this is that it’s not about performance, it’s not about an outcome, a goal.
It’s about the experience in the moment.
Men Healing Men
I sat yesterday, holding a man during a session as he cried for a short while on my shoulder.
I had no shirt on and after that I felt his tears sliding down my arm. It was a moment of such awareness, such intimacy, such emotion.
It was a moment of sensuality, heart to heart as we held each other, strong arms, men’s arms, and tender arms in these feelings.
Sexual Courage
It takes courage to be sexually open and sexually honest.
It takes courage to be authentic about our desires, about what we want, what arouses us, what interests us, what excites us, what draws us.
It takes courage to be honest about what we don’t enjoy, when we don’t want something.
The Body of Self-Love
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about self-love, about how little we’re taught this, and how different life would be if we expressed more self-love.
There’s an interesting thing that comes up often in healing and spiritual sayings, about how we need to love ourselves before we can love another.
We don’t.
Self-love isn’t in a vacuum.
It doesn’t happen on its own.
The Choreography of a Threesome
I was having a conversation with someone the other day, and multi-partner experiences came up, as they do in some people’s lives.
I said that I thought orgies were hard work, and not always a lot of fun.
Essentially there’s a big difference between the fantasy of these experiences and the reality.
In my work as a Conscious Sexuality Practitioner, I’ve had discussions with many people before and after these experiences.
For some people they’ve been amazing, and started them on journeys of exciting exploration. For some they’ve been one-offs.
Deep Cervical Pleasure
Expanding into potential.
Expanding into Possibility.
Expanding into the space within.
The twin flames of energy and pleasure dance with each other in the body.
The Heart opens.
The Body opens.
‘I felt the pulsations inside my Yoni for hours afterwards, even as I was falling asleep I was aware of them’.
Dancing With The Fire
I posted a piece yesterday that I wrote a while ago, about how difficult it is for many women to let go into pleasure.
And my lover said to me, ‘I get this, about women, but where are the men in this? Where are the men giving this pleasure, helping women to go to these deeper places, where are the men who are curious, and know about their partner’s bodies, where are the men who give time for pleasure, who are present during pleasure, where are the the men who get the power of slow, where are the men who ask what their partner’s want? We’re all connected in our pleasure, giving and receiving?’
Coffee and a Loofah
Simple moments, everyday moments.
With extraordinary possibilities.
One moment, one sip, one mouthful, one breath, one taste, one stroke, one smell…
Sensual possibilities, limitless possibilities.
The Whole Body
Here’s the thing.
The Whole Body is Sacred.
Our genitals are no more or less sacred than our feet, our face, our hands.
No more or less sacred than our hearts.
And our whole body is a space, a field of limitless possibility, of sensation, of feeling.
Massage and Cheesebugers
If I say ‘Cheeseburger’, your mind will think of whatever your favourite cheeseburger is. It might be a Big Mac, it might be a gourmet burger, but you have an idea in your mind what it is. (You might guess from this that I like cheeseburgers, I do!).
That’s how the mind works, what we know, what we’ve experienced, what we think something is.
If I say massage, your mind will go somewhere, based on what you’ve experienced, or what you think.
The Subtle Fire of Kissing a Yoni
‘Don’t go straight for the clit.’
If we learn a little about sexual, and oral pleasure, and more specifically, Kissing a Yoni, it’s one of the first pieces of advice in so many lessons and talks and tutorials.
And generally it’s a great piece of learning.
I’d like to share something with you that can change that, and it needs to be in a context.
Building the Sexual Fire
There’s a beautiful concept of The Sexual Fire.
And when we take time to build the fire it can become an inferno, of sensation, of feeling, energy and passion.
And that’s the key.
Taking the time, particularly for women, to grow the fire.
And here’s something interesting, a different take on the way we start the fire.
Start it hot.
Your Yoni, Your Lingam Deserve More
Your Yoni or your Lingam deserve more.
They deserve more than simply being rubbed, by ourselves, mostly hard and fast to the orgasm of release.
Your Yoni/Lingam deserve more than simply penetrating, being penetrated, to the friction, to the orgasm of release.
Cervical Sex, Cervical Orgasms
I’d like to share something with you about Cervical Sex and Cervical Orgasms.
It’s a different realm of sex, of pleasure, of energy.
It’s a heart experience, a body experience, an energy experience.
It’s a vibration, a pulsation, that can be subtle and can be strong.
It’s deep, deep in the body, deep in the Yoni, as deep as you can go.
And it’s emotionally deep, energetically deep.
Yoni Massage for Healing and Pleasure
I have been practicing and teaching Yoni Massage for over 20 years, for healing, for pleasure, as an energy experience, a body experience, a heart experience and a spiritual experience.
Sometimes, more times than not, these all merge together in one experience.
They’re not separate, as we often think.
One leads to another, opens the door for another, has the seed of another within us.
