Sensual Encounters
May I honour you by looking into your eyes.
May I honour your body by looking at you, at your skin, at the curves and plains, the valleys, the ridges.
May I take you in with my gaze and look at you in wonder.
May I honour your body by breathing your scent in, by drawing you in me on my breath.
May I honour you by listening to your words, to your tone.
May I honour your body by bringing your palm to my mouth and tasting your skin.
May I honour your body by laying my hands on your skin, feeling you, touching you.
May I honour your body by, even for a moment, immersing myself in you, and in this, knowing we are one.
The Limitless Body, Quiet Lingam
I talk about the limitless possibility of the body, the limitless possibility of touch, of sensuality, of the ways to touch, to connect, the ways we can experience ourselves and another.
Cervical Orgasm, A Journey for Men and Women
On the weekend we shared a Live Yoni Massage Webinar with a focus on Cervical Orgasm.
The demonstration of this was powerful, beautiful, entrancing.
As I was preparing for the event, I came to see that one of the things about Cervical Orgasm is that it’s a transformational experience for both men and women.
A Cervical Orgasm is an experience that comes from the cervix and the area around the cervix being stimulated. It can happen on your won and with a partner. It’s deeply emotional, an experience of sexual energy, it can be pysychedelic, spiritual, an expanded state of consciousness and more.
Erotic Humility
This arose in the context of Yoni, and Lingam Massage.
As I sat with it, exploring it, I became aware of how it extends to all erotic and pleasure experiences.
Erotic Humility.
For me the Erotic is the body and the heart. They’re inseparable.
It’s the space where energy expresses itself in sensuality and pleasure.
The Power of Men Receiving
There’s something that opens a door for men, something that moves in the body first, then it moves in the heart, then it comes to awareness, giving the mind a different perspective.
The body changes things where the mind often resists.
When the body softens, opens, relaxes, it releases, it let’s go.
It begins to change a pattern.
Penetrating, Receiving
It’s easy to penetrate someone’s body, it’s easy to be penetrated.
Physically.
And that’s what so many of us do.
Just that, physically.
There is an art of penetration, an art of receiving, of welcoming, of drawing someone in to your body, in to your heart, in to your being.
This is where we find a level of intimacy, of connection, that touches us deeply, body, heart and soul.
INSIDE HER, WAY TOO QUICKLY
Many women have been penetrated too quickly, often way before their bodies are ready to have something inside.
The impact of this is tension in the tissues of the yoni, often around and just inside the opening. This causes pain, particularly during penetration
Expanded Energy Orgasm
We’re starting the series with The Expanded Energy Orgasm workshop, which has so much to offer.
I was thinking about this in the past few days, thinking about why it’s important.
The first question that comes from that is what makes a sexuality workshop important?
Sex is important to us. And the amount of energy, time, and effort we spend talking about sex, watching sex, trying to, and having sex, how much in our world is about sex, shows us that.
And Yoni Spoke to Me
And she spoke to me, Yoni.
Look at me, she said, look at me before you touch me.
Really look at me, so you’ll know me.
YoniLingam in the Body
Much of my work is in the world of sexual healing. At least that’s where many journeys start, then they become more about learning, growing, exploring, expanding. These journeys also become more about life, all aspects of life.
In this there’s something I’ve come to see the importance of.
We need to heal in context.
In the context of our bodies, our hearts, our minds, our lives.
The Freedom of Male Touch
I’ve recently shared some pieces that I’ve written about men, male sexuality, male sensuality.
These come out of the work I share with men, the conversations, the workshops and experiences.
As beautiful, as interesting, as powerful, as emotional, as challenging, as thought-provoking as these conversations are, and as important as they are, there’s something more.
Touch.
So much of this journey, this healing, this discovery, this exploration of ourselves as men, is about connection.
Connecting with the parts of ourselves that we’ve disconnected, and been disconnected, from.
Connecting with our bodies.
Connecting with our hearts.
Connecting with our Lingams.
The Magic of The Slow
There is magic in slow.
There is such power in slow.
Slow brings us into presence.
All else drifts away naturally when we are present.
There is no struggle in slow, there is surrender, to this moment, to our body, to our breath, to sensation, to feeling.
In slow there is flow. The way we move becomes a natural expression of the quiet within.
This is the quiet of intimacy, of connection.
The Yoni Whisper
Way back after a Yoni Massage workshop someone called me a Yoni Whisperer.
The memory of that came to me today, with something beautiful.
It’s not often Yoni is touched with a whisper.
So often she’s touched with a shout, a yell, a demand.
When you think about the contraction, the withdrawal that brings, the tension in so many Yoni’s makes sense.
A Self-Pleasuring Sexual Energy Experience
This is a self-pleasuring experience that will allow you to experience your sexual energy.
When we can build that energy, that beautiful, powerful, vital sexual energy, when we can build it and then keep it inside of us, there is an intelligence within that will use that energy. It may take us to a meditative state, deep and peaceful. It may fill us with zingy aliveness.
The Beautiful and Subtle Art of Clitoral Massage
Being willing to step out of the pattern, being willing to step out of the conditioning, being willing to step out of the expectation, something emerges.
Being willing to ask, What else is here.
Being willing to dance with possibility.
Being willing to dance my hands on your body, something emerges.
Sexual Healing. The Paths of Possibility
I sat in my studio this morning with a client, listening to her sexual story, her desire to have the experiences she knew were there, to feel the things she knew were possible.
I was thinking about my journey, working in the field of Conscious Sexuality for 20 yrs. This began with a fascination with touch, exploring different massage modalities, Kinesiology, Shiatsu, energy healing, esoteric studies, a deep personal sexual exploration, a deep personal growth journey, a radio show, a range of DVD’s, workshops, retreats and a continuous journey of learning.
The Penetration of Life
Every moment of life is an invitation, a seduction, a penetration, an opening, a welcoming.
Every moment is an intimacy.
With ourselves, with our bodies, with our senses, with our breath.
Life is sex, sex is Life, expressed in the delicious awareness of sensuality.
In this awareness, the more we live it, feel it, the more it becomes our natural state.
It’s not something we do, it’s something we become.
It’s something we are.
Sensual.
Lovers.
All Orgasms are Different
For many of us the model of sex is based on what we think it should be, how we think it should be, how we think it should look.
This is often a porn-based model, filled with the idea of performance and expectation.
Orgasm, the way we express orgasm, especially for women, has been caught up in this model.
The expectation of it is that there’s lots of moaning, groaning, screaming, shouting.
There’s lots of writhing, wriggling.
There are earthquakes and stars colliding…
Free Yourself in the Body
I was sitting at the airport in Doha on the way to Ireland, and I tried to get into my website to do some work.
It wasn’t happening, it was blocked for being an adult content website.
It made me realise how fortunate we are to have the openness around sexuality that we do, the access and the opportunity.
And then I realised how limited that freedom is for many of us.
Make Time for Pleasure
A lot of times, if we don’t make time, it doesn’t happen.
Make time for pleasure.
Make time for intimacy.
Make time for connection.
Make time for play.
There’s something I hear lots from people I work with.
‘We don’t have time.’
I’ve come to see this.
We have time for so many other things, we don’t make time, for each other, for ourselves, for pleasure and intimacy.
Your Own Pleasure Intimacy
Your sexual intimacy is about you, it begins with you and it’s within you.
We’ve been conditioned to the idea that it’s outside of ourselves, about someone else, that we’re sexual and sensual beings when we’re in a relationship, when we’re having sex. And we tend to think about ourselves sexually in the act of self-pleasuring.
You are a sensual and sexual being, and your intimacy and pleasure are not dependent on any other.
Look within.
This Body of Possibility, Awakening
This week we begin a series of workshops in Ireland.
I’ve called these The Body of Possibility, Awakening.
Our bodies are just this, a field of possibility.
Limitless possibility.
I think it was Caroline Myss who said that our biology is our biography.
This body is the story of our lives.
It holds our hurts and pains, our rejections and abandonment.
It holds our contractions, our withdrawals, our tears.
It also holds our pleasures and desires.
What Do You Want (Sexually)
‘Tell me what you want
What you really, really want!’
I’ve never been a Spice Girls fan, but the line has stuck in my head.
Here’s the thing, so often we don’t know what we want, sexually, sensually, intimately.
Over so many years of doing this work I’ve seen this so much, and lately it’s come up a lot, more from women than men, but men as well.
It really makes us think, when someone asks us what we want.
And when we go beyond the often narrow expression of pleasure, the pattern and the conditioning, we don’t know what to say.
And this is before we even think about asking for what we want.
Taoist Sexual Healing Massage
Taoist Sexual Healing Massage is one of the most beautiful and powerful expressions of touch and sexual energy.
One of the pillars of Taoist sexuality is using our sexual energy, which is our life force, for health and longevity.
That’s what the massage does, it balances our entire energy system every time you receive it.
It keeps the energy in the body, allowing us to use it for health, for creativity and for meditation, for access to higher states of energy and consciousness.
The Possibility of Healing, Love and Pleasure
Yesterday we finished The Sex Expo in Cape Town, this week I’m sharing a series of workshops, and in a few weeks I’m in Ireland to share with you, workshops and sessions.
A while ago I received a letter from a man I shared some of this journey with.
I share it with you because so many of us have had similar situations in our lives, and so much of this has been painful, deeply painful. Sometimes to the point of relationships, marriages ending, families being broken up, and the cycle of this repeating through generations.
Tears on my Chest
I sat with a man in Yab-Yum, holding him, naked chest to naked chest, heart to heart.
We sat in stillness and breathed, coming into our bodies, softening into each other, into the warmth of our skins, into presence.
I began to rock him, to slowly move his body.
We softened into each other, into relaxation, into the breath, into the movement.
I felt the vibration deep inside of him, felt it rise to his heart, felt his body tremble.
I felt his tears on my chest.
My heart melted.
Sacred tears.
Touching Into The Yoni Vortex
‘Stillness. Complete stillness. In the touch and in my mind. An experience unlike anything I’ve felt before- energetically, emotionally and physically.
An invitation to my yoni to open… not just to me, not just to the touch, but to life. All of life.
Not rushing. Not forcing. And when those thoughts of rush and movement came into my awareness, a surrendering, allowing the moment to be what it is. To be as it is. And suddenly, in the gentleness, in the deep deep desire, she opens. Slowly.. inching open, like a flower petal blooming…
Penetration, Heart to Heart
At the opening of her Yoni, pause.
Before you enter her, pause.
Be still, so still.
And so much happens in this stillness, this moment of quiet.
In this moment, this stillness, there’s a listening to your lover, to her body, to her heart.
You’ll only hear it, feel it, in the stillness.
You’re feeling for her to open for you, to welcome you, to draw you in with the invitation of softening.
Healers and Lovers
I think we need more lovers than healers.
We need more people to hold a space for us to feel loved in, simply loved.
And this is where the healing happens.
It’s in the space of being.
It’s in the space of being heard, of being seen.
It’s in the space of being who we are, as we are, and in time to come to the deeper parts of who we are. In time to connect with parts we’ve separated from, been separated from. In time to find the essence of who we are.
We need more people to hold us in love.
Welcoming Yoni
On the weekend we shared a G-Spot Massage webinar, which, by the way, was a fantastic event.
At the end of it we have time for questions and comments, and someone said something that’s been on my mind for a while. I actually started writing something about it, it wasn’t quite there yet.
‘It was as if her Yoni was drawing your fingers in, taking them deep and stronger on her own.’
G-Spot Whispering
I’ll share something with you.
This delicate, this amazing place, this wonder-full structure, in your body, wakes up with a whisper.
She responds to a greeting that is slow and soft.
A greeting that’s offered with love.
There’s a desire within your G-Spot, a desire to express herself, in pleasure, in energy.
And in fire, such fire, such passion.
And it begins with a whisper.
The Sexual Energy of Life
Every time we look into each other’s eyes, energy travels from me to you, you to me.
Every kiss, every touch, energy.
I breathe your breath into me, I take your essence, I give you mine.
Every touch, energy.
We go deeper into each other.
There’s a dance of light and colour between us, unseen, yet known.
It sings, it laughs, it shouts, it weeps, we don’t hear it.
I enter you, you receive me, energy.
In the liquid meeting of our bodies, energy.
10 cm of Cloth
One of the experiences I offer is called Water Flow Massage.
It takes place in a heated pool, it’s a touch experience, an intimate and connecting experience. For some people it’s deeply healing. Most people get into the water nude, it’s not required, it’s whatever you’re comfortable with.
In Johannesburg we have a dedicated pool for this experience.
A while ago I was doing this in a different city, and found a pool to use. The pool was part of a swim school, we were there at night, nobody else around. A while after the event I was teaching there again and wanted to book the venue. I was turned down, people had complained that there were nude people in the pool.
Their focus was the 10 cm of Cloth, of a bathing suit that covers the genitals.
The Yoni Touch
What’s interesting is that pleasure is a path of healing, but pleasure with a shift in the way we experience it.
The shift is in a touch that is slow, so slow.
Lingam Healing, A New Practice
There is a deep practice of Lingam Healing, male healing, heart healing.
It’s a practice of presence.
It’s a slow practice, it has very little movement.
It’s a practice of time, in two ways, the time it takes each time, and the time it takes for a man to relax into it, to receive it.
We Can’t Make Love, It’s There
I was thinking about making love, and some interesting things came to awareness.
Often in workshops and discussions there’s a question that comes up, which is what’s the difference between having sex and making love.
Is it just semantics or is something there?
Something is definitely there.
The Merry Masturbatory Month of May
In the sexual calendar May is traditionally Masturbation Month.
I was thinking about this, and thinking about how for many of us masturbation is actually functional more than anything else.
The function of masturbation is orgasm.
And everything that goes with it, a few moments of release, relaxation, stress-release, tension-relieving, sleep-aid etc.
These are all fine.
And there’s more.
The more is when we expand our awareness and practice to self-pleasuring.
The Sensual Meditation of Touch
One of the most beautiful things to come out of the journeys of healing, exploration and growth I share with people is how our sexuality and sensuality connect to almost every other aspect of ourselves and our lives.
One of these is how sensual practices become a meditation.
Sharing Yourself
So many of us build walls of protection, create barriers of safety, so that we may not get hurt.
We defend our hearts, we defend our feelings, we defend the precious, fragile place of love.
And when we do this we enclose ourselves.
The Questions We Shouldn’t Ask
There are some questions we shouldn’t ask.
Because the answers make us uncomfortable, they make us squirm inside.
Because if we ask them, we might have to do something about it.
Because if we ask them, we bring certain things into the light of day, we acknowledge their existence, and maybe they’re best left unsaid.
Because if we ask them, we might have to respond.
The YoniLingam Meditation of Gazing
YoniLingam Meditation of Gazing is looking with, through, the eyes of your heart.
It’s a meditation on loving, accepting, acknowledging, in the giving and in the receiving.
It’s a meditation on presence, sexual presence, heart presence, body presence.
It’s a meditation where we bring our heart into our gaze, where the vision within the vision, is one of love.
It’s a meditation where we open ourselves to receive, to be seen.
There is deep healing in the giving, deep healing in the receiving. Healing through being rather than doing.
Keep The (Sexual) Energy in the Body
For sexual awakening
For sexual healing
For sexual energy
Keep it in the body
There is such power in our sexual energy, such power in our pleasure.
It’s a path of healing, of growth, of creativity, of abundance, of vitality, of intimacy, of learning, of self-inquiry, of meditation, of spirituality.
THE POSSIBILITY and SHOULD of LOVE and PLEASURE
Two words that have amazing impact on our pleasure, our relationships and our love.
Possibility and Should.
I talk a lot about Possibility, and recently 2 people who have been on healing and growth journeys have embodied this.
One, an artist, created a Mandala of Possibility, which is the image I’ve used for this piece. The other had a tattoo on his chest, about the limitless possibility of every moment.
G-Spot Holding for Healing and Pleasure
There is such healing power in pleasure.
Conscious Pleasure.
Pleasure opens us.
Pleasure changes our bodies chemistry, Pleasure touches our nerve-system.
Pleasure reaches deep inside of us, to a place beyond words.
In pleasure there is release, there is letting go.
In pleasure our energy changes, our patterns change.
In pleasure there is healing, deep healing.
Pleasure is the space of possibility.
Deep Erotic Experience
There are moments of Erotic experience, moments of deep pleasure, moments of sexual energy, moments of intimacy, moments of the heart, moments of the body, that have no words.
They’re sacred moments, moments of an open heart.
Moments that show how vast the space of the heart is.
Moments that arise from deep within us.
Moments of eyes, of breath, of touch.
THE ESSENCE OF SENSUALITY
The Essence of Sensuality is Life.
The Essence of Sensuality is Love.
The Essence of Sensuality is Feeling.
The Essence of Sensuality is Awareness.
The Essence of Sensuality is Intimacy.
The Essence of Sensuality is Possibility.
In a few weeks I’m hosting a retreat called The Essence of Sensuality.
We have these great names for workshops and retreats, and I was thinking, what does it actually mean, The Essence of Sensuality?
Yoni Anatomy – The Beautiful Mystery
Something landed for me with quite a Thunk! last week.
It’s actually been there for a while, and really made itself known.
I write a lot about Yoni, and Lingam Massage.
I do a lot of that in my work.
And I am not teaching these nearly enough.
For healing, for pleasure, for growth, for energy, for intimacy and more.
It’s time to change that.
And I’m starting next week with a webinar on the Beautiful Mystery of Yoni Anatomy.
Expanded Sensual Possibility
Something exceptional happened last week.
On my workshops in Cape Town were 2 disabled men.
One of them had lost a leg, the other was blind, had been since birth.
It’s always been important to me that this work is inclusive and available to everyone.
This was a big experience for all of us, emotionally, physically, energetically, sensually.
Presence in Deep Yoni Massage
There is something fascinating that happens in Deep Yoni Massage.
And I’m using the word deep in a few different ways here.
And all of them are about presence, connection, intimacy, awareness, the heart.
Which is the journey of the guide, an inner journey. I’m using the word guide instead of giver, doer, because you’re simply guiding the energy, guiding her body
Sexual Energy
Energy is not limited to time or space, it’s everywhere.
Our sexual energy is a fascinating force.
Its part life-force, part vitality, part creativity, part human, part spirit.
And so, so delicious!
It’s mysterious, magical, magnetic.
And once you’ve had a taste of it, a touch, once you’ve felt it inside of you, once you’ve experienced it in your body, you just want more.
