Loving A Woman

I love women.
I love loving women.

There are many elements in loving a woman, one of them is loving loving a woman.
Loving to love her.
Loving to honour her.
Loving to revere her.

A Lesson in Sensual Touch

These are my hands.
For over 30 years they’ve been doing and teaching massage in many different ways.
For the past 20 years they’ve specialized in sensual massage, sexual massage, pleasure massage, sexual energy massage, Yoni Massage, Lingam massage, sexual healing massage.

When we are able to move around again one of the most important things we can do is be touched.

Our Sexual Yes and No

I talk about that one of the reasons I do what I do is that it allows me to express so much of myself in so many ways.
The same goes for learning.
I learn from teaching, from the sessions we share, which at the moment are all online, and the webinars we’ve been sharing.

The Way We Make Love Is The Way We Live

The way we make love is the way we live our lives.

If sex is all about the goal, the orgasm, if it’s all about chasing that, making it happen, so life will be like that.

If sex is about taking.

If sex is about using.

If sex is about withholds.

If sex is based in fear and judgment and shame.

Better Sex, Different Sex

I was thinking about something I get asked a lot.
How do we have better sex?

It’s something so many people talk about, and it’s something so many programmes and courses offer.
Better Sex.

What I was thinking about was this.
What is better sex?
And I realised that maybe the question we should be asking is how do we have different sex?

Sharing The Erotic

My journey into this world of what I came to call Conscious Sexuality began with massage.

There’s a beautiful journey of exploration that goes from curiosity to interest, interest to fascination, fascination to wonder, wonder to awe.
When we get to this, awe, we see the Divine in the body, in all that it can do, in the way it looks, smells, tastes, hears, sees, and feels.
Endless, unlimited.
A journey of discovery that takes us deeper and deeper, layers that reveal layers that reveal layers.

Be A Better Lover

I know that many people are struggling, and I know that many relationships are taking strain.

I know that there is so much uncertainty, so much confusion
I know that there is so much fear.
I know that there is so much news, fake news, myths, misinformation, misunderstanding, theories, conspiracy theories.
I know that it’s hard to know what’s true.

The Mystery of Yoni Gazing

I love women, I worship Yoni.

There is something I have learned about mystery.
There’s an inner knowing, an understanding that goes beyond words.
It’s nameless.
It has no limits.
There is an intimacy with mystery, with the mystery that draws you, and it’s different for each of us.
And when it draws you, when it reaches into you, into your body, into your heart, into your very soul, when it sings a song that something indefinable inside of you knows, you listen.

In Yoni I see beauty beyond words.

These Are My Hands

Everyone has gifts and talents, one of mine is touch.
These are my hands, and they are missing touching.

So much of my work, and my teaching is with touch.
I have been exploring, learning, teaching, giving, receiving, sharing touch for over 30 years.
In this time I have developed a deep and wonder-full appreciation of the body, that continues to grow.
Appreciation for your skin, for the texture, for the shape, for the energy, for your muscles, your bones, your joints, for the curves, the valleys, the planes, for what’s beneath your skin, for what you feel, inside and out.

Riding the Orgasmic Waves

When I started teaching, a long time ago, one of the first workshops I taught was Expanded Orgasm.
It’s still one of my most popular workshops.

Now I call it Expanded Orgasmic Wave, as my understanding of it has expanded and changed.

It’s also one of the most important workshops.
What does that mean, an important workshop, what makes it important?

Beautiful Woman

I love women, I worship Yoni.
I’ve spent a great deal of my adult life, personally and professionally exploring pleasure, how to share pleasure with women, in so many ways.
Most of the people I work with are women, most of the people who come to the workshops, retreats and events are women.
I love working with men, and I celebrate every time a man comes to do his work, to heal, to learn, to grow.
So many of my teachers, personally, in relationship, and professionally, have been women.

The Healing is in The Connection

The relationship many of us have with our bodies, is at best, functional.
The relationship many of us have with our genitals, is at best, AT BEST, functional.
The relationship many of us have with our sexuality, is at best, functional.
We’re concerned that everything works.
That’s all.

What Do I want Sexually?

One of the main reasons I do what I do is that it allows me to express so many parts of myself in so many different ways.

It’s been a long journey to get to this place.
A long time ago I read a book called The Way To Love by Anthony DeMello. There was a piece in the book that impacted me deeply. It was about selfishness. We’ve been brought up with the idea that selfish is bad. We get something from everything we do, no matter how altruist or giving, no matter how manipulative we may be.

The Last Sexuality Workshop

On Monday night I taught the last face-to-face workshop for a while.
The workshops continue online.

Before I talk about, rather, write about the workshop, I would like to thank you for your comments, likes and shares of the pieces I write and share.
It touches me that they’re touching and helping you at the moment.

At this time we choose a place and a way where we are in the world, how we’d like to show up.

Erotic Gratitude

These are intense times, with intense energies at the moment.
In this are amazing possibilities of healing, growth, change, learning, expanding.
And one of the most powerful energies we can engage with at the moment is gratitude.

There is such power in this energy, it literally can be life-changing when we feel it and express it in all that we do.
And one of the ways we can do this is through our eroticism.

The Choices We Make

When I created the logo and slogan for ErosLife I wanted it to represent a Path of Pleasure; A Path of Possibility.
Possibility for me is about choice, about awareness.
It’s about moving from auto-pilot to consciousness.
Brice Lipton talks about us only being conscious for about 5% of the day. So if we’re awake for around 16 hrs, it means we’re spending the smallest amount of that time actually choosing to really engage.

And at the moment we’re being called on to make choices.

Make Love

The past few weeks have been a time of an inner shift for me, a shift in perception, how I see things, life, healing, us, what we do, how we do.
It’s been an intense time, physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically.
And I’d usually add sexually to that, but it’s been a year since I’ve had a sexual encounter with another. That alone has taken me deep into myself, into so many parts of myself, with deep learning and understanding.

Men Receiving

At the Expanded Orgasm Workshop I taught this week there were some really interesting questions asked, and some deep understandings shared.

Before I share one of these, I’d like to share this.
One of the reasons that I teach is that it’s a space for me to learn. I learn through the questions that are asked, I learn through the understanding people each, I learn through what they share, the perspectives they bring and I learn through the talking.
The extension of this is that one of the reasons I do what I do, teaching, helping in the field of Conscious Sexuality, is that it allows me to express so much of myself in so many ways. I don’t know anything else that holds this space for me.

Conscious Sexuality

Last week I wrote and shared an article about the way we have sex.

Someone posted a comment, ‘Soooooo let me get this straight you put more expanded CONSCIOUSNESS in to sex…. hmmmm.’

I thank you for this, I thank everyone for all the comments, likes and shares.
I thank you for this and the opportunity it brings to share some thoughts with you.

The Way That We Have Sex

The way that we have sex is the way that we live.
In patterns.

In sexual terms what that means is that we do what we do, we follow our pattern.
We kiss in the same way, we touch in the same way, we do the same things in the same way.
Our partner does the same.
We do what we do, they do what they do.
We do it together, we take turns.
But it’s our pattern.

Multiple-Partner Logistics

I was having a conversation with someone the other day, and multi-partner experiences came up, as they do in some people’s lives.
I said that I thought orgies were hard work, and not always a lot of fun.

Essentially there’s a big difference between the fantasy of these experiences and the reality.
In my work as a Conscious Sexuality Practitioner, I’ve had discussions with many people before and after these experiences.

Yoni Holding For Healing

I’ve been working in the field of sexual healing for almost 20 years, most of the people I work with are women.
For so many women the tissues of the yoni hold tension, emotional blockages, patterns and hurt.
This manifests in so many ways from not being able to have orgasms, to painful sex, to having a low sexual energy, to disconnect from their sexuality, their bodies, their genitals and more.

Expanded Orgasm Workshop

‘ve always said that this was ‘an important workshop’, and I was thinking earlier about what that really means.

What makes it important is that it expands, haha, the perception we have on pleasure.

Permission for Pleasure

There’s something I talk about a lot, it comes up a lot in the healing journeys I share with people, on talks and workshops, and it comes up a lot in interviews.
In essence it’s that we get no, or very little education for pleasure. The extension of this is education for relationships and for love.
There’s something I hear a lot, especially from young people whose relationships are floating along, sometimes happily, sometimes peacefully, sometimes unaware of the fact that just below the surface of the water deep and dangerous currents lurk, rocks and all sorts of obstacles are there. What they say, and not so young people as well, ‘I thought love was enough’.

Learn About…

At a talk I gave last week on Conscious Sexuality someone asked a great question about sex in a relationship, how do you make it more conscious, what do you do?

Earlier this week a man sent an email to me saying that his wife doesn’t have much confidence in his sexual skills and is bored in bed.

Over the years, almost 20 years, in the field of Conscious Sexuality I have had so many similar questions from people, from all orientations.