Tag: #sexualenergy

TOUCHING THE BODY IS JUST THE BEGINNING 

A while ago a guy messaged me about wanting to learn sensual massage, but without anything about energy, about philosophy, about emotion.
He used the words Yoni and Lingam Massage, which are expressions of so much more than just genitals.

THE DELICIOUS ART OF SEDUCTION

In the beginning…
Many good stories start that way.
In the beginning we spend time seducing each other. We take time. We put in energy. We become creative, romantic, exciting.

TURN SOMEONE ON, LEARN TO TOUCH

I facilitated an experience a few weeks ago called Liquid Touch.
Amongst all the beautiful feedback was a paragraph that’s very pA while ago I read something written by a sexologist that pushed a button inside of me.
The line was that sensual massage isn’t a very effective form of foreplay.

THE ACCEPTING SENSUALITY OF MAN TO MAN

I facilitated an experience a few weeks ago called Liquid Touch.
Amongst all the beautiful feedback was a paragraph that’s very powerful, that says some important things.

A NEW (STANDING) DIMENSION IN TOUCH

For more than 30 yrs I’ve been teaching, and doing conscious sensual massage, erotic massage, in many ways.
In this time I’ve seen how the journey into touch is so many things, has so many dimensions, and is literally, a life-long journey of creativity.

THE SENSUAL POWER OF LIQUID TOUCH

I facilitated an event on the weekend called Liquid Touch, based on Liquid Love.
As far I know it’s the 1st time it’s been done in South Africa, and after last night we can’t wait to do it again.

THE SURPRISING PLEASURE OF QUIET LINGAM

I taught and did something I love to share this week.
From the beginning of my journey working in Conscious Sexuality and Tantra I have always worked with men. I know that a lot of male practitioners don’t.
For me the work has always been about everyone.

THE YONILINGAM PUJA OF WORSHIP AND PLEASURE

I have recently been doing some experiences that have many different elements.
There are elements of pleasure, deep pleasure. Elements of adoration, of puja, of worship. Elements of poetry. Elements of meditation. Elements of intimacy. Elements of creativity. Elements of spirituality. Elements of physicality.

SOUP AND SEX, WHAT’S ON THE MENU?

I was making a pot of soup earlier today and it took my mind somewhere interesting.
I thought about the taste I wanted, I thought about the feeling I wanted, I thought about the seasoning I wanted.

THE BEAUTIFUL, LONG AND WINDING ROAD OF YONI MASSAGE

My journey with Yoni Massage has been, to quote the song, a long and winding road, that has led me to many doors. So many.
So many that have taught me so much about myself, about giving and taking, about service and intimacy, about love and vulnerability, about life in so many ways.

THE POWERFUL SOUND OF A YONI WHISPER

It’s not often Yoni is touched with a whisper.
It’s not often Yoni is touched with an invitation.
It’s not often Yoni is touched with welcoming.

EXPLORING A BODY, EXPLORING A LIFE

The exploration of a body is the exploration of a life.
The exploration of a body is the exploration of a world.
The exploration of a body is timeless, limitless.
The exploration of a body is the exploration of intimacy.

This Divine Body

From the ends of your toes to the tips of your fingers to the top of your head.
Your Divine Body.

There is a lifetime in your body, a lifetime of sensation, a lifetime of feelings, a lifetime of emotions.
Two, an egg, a sperm, came together to make one, you.
In this, your divine body.
There is no other like you, unique beauty in this skin.
Your skin holds you perfectly, surrounds you, gives you a home.

To make love with you, to make love to you, is to make love to all of you.
All of you, all of your divine body.

WHO IS THE ORGASM FOR?

The story of orgasm, the exploration of orgasm, the experience of orgasm is fascinating and limitless.
There are so many perspectives, so many angles, and so many experiences.

THE SECRET INNER FLINCH (OF S**)

This is the secret, then we’ll talk about what makes it a secret.
So many women flinch inside when the subject of sex tonight, later, in an hr, when we get into bed, is brought up.
What makes it a secret?
So many women know about this.
So few men do.

A MAN AWAKENING TO PLEASURE

I sat with a couple in a lesson yesterday and saw a moment of such beauty, such power, such awareness, and such liberation.
It was an awakening. It happened in a moment. It touched me deeply, filled me with joy, with celebration, with wow. And I wasn’t the one experiencing it.

THERE IS GREAT RISK IN DEEP PLEASURE

There is a great risk in deep pleasure, in allowing ourselves to go to that place.

The place where we become one with another.

The place where we become one with life.

The place where we feel the Divine within us.

And in time, where we live as Divine.

The risk is that we reveal ourselves.

We allow ourselves to be seen.

THE INNER AND OUTER JOURNEY OF SE*UAL EXPLORATION

For all the years of doing this work in Conscious Sexuality, there’s been something coming up from the beginning.
It’s always been there, and a lot at the moment.
‘I, or we, would like to explore our sexuality.’

BEING PRESENT IN PLEASURE MIGHT NOT BE WHAT YOU THINK

We talk about this a lot, being present in pleasure.
Being present in sex.
Definitely, absolutely, so important.
We talk about breathing to be present, how to touch in a way, that giving and receiving, we’re present. We talk about coming into presence with eye-gazing, Yab-Yum, dancing.

EXPANDING THE DIMENSIONS OF FOREPLAY

I was thinking about foreplay.
I was thinking about how compartmentalized and, in a way, one-dimensional, so many of us experience that.
I was thinking about how limited the way we express this, in how little we use our bodies and our senses.

THE NUMBING IMPACT OF PATTERNED SEX

When I began this journey of teaching, facilitating, and for want of a better word for now, healing, a framework emerged that I use to this day.
One of the cornerstones of it is patterns.
Patterns of the mind, patterns of the body.

THE CONVERSATION OF TOUCH, PT 2: LISTENING

I shared a piece a few weeks back called The Conversation of Touch. It’s about the inner space of touch, some of it anyway, the intention in touch.
This is a deep exploration, the inner expression of touch, and with honesty, it’s an incredibly revealing enquiry. It shows us a great deal of why we touch, what we’re looking for, what we’re expressing, what we’re actually doing, in touch.

POLITENESS IS IN THE WAY OF PLEASURE

What I can share with you, in a world that’s just looking for quick fix, for easy answers, and 1, 2, 3 steps, is the road less traveled.
A road that’s been traveled in many different ways, by explorers and adventurers, with their own feet. Their own bodies, their own hearts. Not just theories and formulas they’ve learned.

THE PLEASURE POSSIBILITIES OF THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED 

What I can share with you, in a world that’s just looking for quick fix, for easy answers, and 1, 2, 3 steps, is the road less traveled.
A road that’s been traveled in many different ways, by explorers and adventurers, with their own feet. Their own bodies, their own hearts. Not just theories and formulas they’ve learned.

IF YOU WANT TO BE F** GOOD AT F**

If you want to be F******* good at F******,
there are a few important things.

To be F****** good at F******* you can’t be lazy. You can’t flop on top, make a few half-hearted thrusts, have a groan of an ejaculation, roll off and reach for your phone, or fall asleep.

THE 4-LETTER WORD THAT CHANGES OUR PLEASURE

There is a 4-letter word that in today’s world is revolutionary when it comes to sex and pleasure.
The extension of that is it’s pretty revolutionary in life.
Slow.
That’s it, slow.
Slow TFD, literally.

THE UNIVERSE OF THE YONIVERSE

There’s a word that’s in the New Age, Neo-Tantra, Sort-of-Spiritual lexicon., until this morning, and something changed.
Yoniverse.

THE DANCE OF LIFE,OF LOVE

I came out of a meditation today by slowly, so slowly, opening my eyes.
It probably took about 2 minutes to open my eyes fully.
As they were open I became aware of the play, the dance, of light and dark.
How the light and the dark are not separate, they’re not different.

THE SMALL THINGS ARE REALLY THE BIG THINGS

One of the most powerful relationship learnings is how the small things are actually the big things.
And how the small things, with awareness, with consistency, become deep expressions of intimacy.

THE DELICIOUS POWER OF THE AFTERGLOW

What happens afterwards might be more important than what happens before.

We spend a fair amount of time talking about the importance of foreplay, and if you’re lucky, as a woman, a fair amount of time in foreplay.
I teach a workshop called Conscious Connection and Intimacy, which is even before the foreplay, and is a really important part of our pleasure and sexual experiences.

THE SUBTLE POWER OF TAOIST SEXUAL ENERGY MASSAGE

The very first thing I started teaching was Taoist Sexual Energy Massage.
I didn’t know much then, about 30 years ago, and it was taught in quite a sexual context.
I’d never received or experienced the massage, so I only saw what it did.
Then I taught it to a partner, who did it for me.

OUR (UNNATURAL), AND ACCEPTED GENITAL JUDGEMENT

So many of us, with not many exceptions, hold a Genital Judgement.
Against ourselves, and others, partners, lovers.
It’s not ours, not naturally.
It was given to us, by so many industries.

A SE**ALITY THAT’S ALIVE AND PULSATING

Here’s an outrageous suggestion, What if Tantra wasn’t about having more sex, better sex?
Firstly, it’s not outrageous, but we love these deeply emotive words.
And what happens if there’s something in that, that having more, better sex, is actually a by-product?

FROM NEED TO CHOICE FOR MEN

There are some things that I let go of a long time ago that changed my sexuality and pleasure.
It impacted on my relationships, with my sexuality, my body, my lovers

The Importance And Possibility Of Cliteracy

Cliteracy is being clitorally literate, whether it’s yours, or someone else’s, that you have the honour of touching, caressing, stroking, licking…
Cliteracy is knowing the full anatomy of this beautiful organ, which has only quite recently been fully mapped, and continues to be discovered.

THE POWER OF QUIET DEPTH IN SEXUAL HEALING

I’d like to share something that might not be very popular, as it goes against what so much of the web is showing, but it might have a little bit of truth in it.
And it might help some of us feel that we’re OK, that our experience is OK, where we are is OK, and that we can relax a little.
Because a lot of sexuality work, a lot of spiritual work actually has come to have a lot of pressure, expectation and performance attached to it.

I’M JONTI, YOU MUST BE MY PLEASURE BEING

There is a part of us that most of us have never been properly or fully introduced to.
My friend Galen Fous calls it our Sex Creature, I call it our Pleasure Being.
Without this introduction, and the relationship that comes from it, it’s hard to have a full, deep, open and expansive pleasure life.

THE EARTH, WATER AND FIRE OF LINGAM MASSAGE

We’ve been talking a lot about Yoni Massage, today we’re talking about Lingam Massage.
When I teach this, essentially I teach the practical part of the massage in 3 parts, Earth, Water and Fire.
Which, BTW, is one of the ways that energy moves in the body.

THE YONI MASSAGE OF SPACE, SPIRAL
AND SURRENDER

Earlier this week we were talking about Yoni Massage, what it may or not be.
There’s a really interesting model for this, which actually goes much deeper, into how we view, and do, sex and pleasure.
It’s also one of the ways we can understand how differently men and women view pleasure.

IN THE BEGINNING, YONI MASSAGE

I’d like to share a part of my story with you.
This happened a long time ago.
I’d been doing this work for a little while and a couple contacted me about learning something, I think Expanded Orgasm.
We spent a wonderful evening in a hotel room, sharing, talking.

THE FEELING MEDICINE OF INTIMACY

I was watching a series on the weekend, Landman S2.
In one of the episodes there’s a scene that’s so close to one of the processes we do in Water Flow Massage.
This is a touch experience, it’s in an indoor, heated pool, soft lighting, gentle music.

THE MOVEMENT (OF PLEASURE) IS IN THE STILLNESS

There are so many levels of pleasure, of sensation, and of sexual experience.
Most of us sadly stay in the shallows, on the surface.
Not as a judgement, simply what we do, for so many reasons.
It’s easier, takes less effort, we don’t have to put in as much energy, we don’t have to learn, porn, movies, social media, religion, all keep us in the shallows.