Energy Sex

Every time we look into each other’s eyes, energy travels from me to you, you to me.
Every kiss, every touch, energy.
I breathe your breath into me, I take your essence, I give you mine.
Every touch, energy.
We go deeper into each other.
There’s a dance of light and colour between us, unseen, yet known.

Holding the Place to be Met

From a place in my heart comes the ancient and sacred practice of holding, of resting my hands on your body.
In stillness, deep stillness.
In reverence.
In love.

For over 25 years I’ve been teaching, exploring and experiencing in the worlds of touch and massage.
In this I’ve seen that the expressions of touch are limitless, and that not all touch is movement.
There is such power, such possibility in stillness.
In holding, holding someone, holding somewhere on their body, resting your hands on them.
In that touch, in the breath.
In softening my hands on your body, touching from my heart.
There’s a melting into each other, an opening, a softening.

The Desire…

The desire to awaken is deep
The desire to surrender is deep
The desire for the wild is deep

Within us, men and women, is such a deep sexuality.
A sexuality that is a portal to experience the Divine. A sexuality that has a wildness, the playground of the beast. A sexuality that encompasses and expresses so many aspects of who we are. A sexuality that in its expression is a path to freedom. A sexuality that is connected to, that opens the heart, and the Heart within the heart.
A sexuality that is one of the keys to higher states of awareness.
And many of us simply scratch the surface.

Naked Freedom

Naked Freedom, Naked Sex.

Naked sex?
Isn’t all sex naked?
Most of the time, sometimes it’s partially clothed, sometimes it’s in a costume, sometimes it’s just pulling something down, pulling something aside.
And there’s more.

Naked is standing revealed, open, owning who we are, the things we enjoy, the things that arouse us, interest us, the things we’re curious about.

The Power of a Woman

I’ve been teaching, exploring and experiencing in the wonderful and limitless worlds of sensuality and sexuality for over 25 years.

In this time there is something I’ve seen so often, and at the moment more so.
So many women have such a powerful, deep, strong, wild, fiery sexuality.
So many women have had glimpses, seen and experienced this in some way and have suppressed it, hidden it, repressed it and not allowed it expression.
There’s fear, there’s guilt, there’s shame and embarrassment.
There’s a society that judges and suppresses female sexuality and its power.
There’s a society that fears female sexuality and its power.
There’s a society that fears Yoni, its beauty, mystery and power.

The deep experiences do not happen in 5 minutes, there are no shortcuts to ourselves.
There are no shortcuts to our hearts, to our souls, to understanding, experiencing the power of our sexual energy, our vitality.

The Erotic Space of Possibility

I’d like to share an experience I had recently with a woman on a journey of healing and growth.
We’ve been working together for a while and we’ve gone deep.
It’s time that makes the depth possible, patience, willingness and commitment, to ourselves, to our bodies, hearts, to our journey.
The deep experiences do not happen in 5 minutes, there are no shortcuts to ourselves.
There are no shortcuts to our hearts, to our souls, to understanding, experiencing the power of our sexual energy, our vitality.

An Introduction

It’s time for a re-introduction.
The past month has been a time of integration of a lot of learning, experiencing, exploring, contemplating.
Going within, and from there being able to share more with you.

I’m a Conscious Sexuality Practitioner, with some Tantra, based in South Africa.
I work online and in person, with men and women, singles and couples of all orientations.

The Path of Sensual Surrender

After doing and teaching, and receiving (not nearly enough), massage, so many different expressions, for over 25 years, I’ve seen how the body, the touch is a beautiful path to surrender.

On many paths we talk about the power of surrender.
Being deeply present in our body allows us to be in the experience, in the feeling, in the sensation.
We drop through the layers of the mind, the layers of thought.

Performers or Lovers

For years I have been helping men with performance issues, premature ejaculation and erection problems.
Something landed for me recently with this work, and the clue was in the question, or the problem.
That’s how so many men see sex.
It’s a performance.
It’s not about pleasure.
Yes they’ll have an orgasm, whether that’s early, whether they can control it or not.
But it’s about performing.
And pleasure is far down the list of why men have sex.

G-Spot Holding for Pleasure

There’s something interesting about touch and pleasure touch, sexual touch.
We think that we need to move, and move all the time.
And for many of us the pattern of movement is hard and fast, harder, faster.
Our bodies have become conditioned to this style of stimulation, both men and women. So much so that when a different touch comes along, particularly a slower touch a gentler touch, we often don’t feel much.

4 Elements of Touch

I want to touch you like the water
With the safety of the womb
With the rivers endless flow
With the oceans tides
As I stroke to your centre
And gently away
With the gathering wave
Crashing its love on the shores of your body

The Intimacy of Healing

In my work, both face-to-face, and online, in one-on-one sessions and in workshops, I get to share many intimate moments with you.

These are moments of awareness, moments of understanding, moments of release and letting go, moments of revelation, seeing ourselves and our lives.
These are moments of the body, of opening, of touch, of softening, of receiving, of giving, of release, of pleasure.
These are moments of the heart, of love, of allowing love, love for ourselves, love for another, for life, allowing ourselves to be loved, feel love.
Moments of intimacy.
And I see how important intimacy is in healing, in learning, in growing, in experiencing.

How Many Tears Are Enough

I held a man on his tears at the Water Flow Massage on Fri night, as I’ve held so many men and women over the years as they’ve cried, as I’ve been held in my tears.

A while ago in my studio a woman on a healing journey asked ‘When will I stop crying?’

Last night, as I held this man, I asked, how many tears are enough?

Our tears are expressions of so many things, joy as well as pain.
Openness, vulnerability, intimacy.
The depth, the power of an authentic moment of connection.

Love Waits

I am back in Johannesburg after an intense week of teaching in Cape Town.
The learning, the sharing, the intimacy, the healing, the connecting on all the workshops, all the sessions, all the conversations was deep. For me as well as everyone I shared with.

In a way I spent time with all of us.
I spent time with people going through difficulties with intimacy and sexuality in their relationships.
I spent time with people, men and women, who have been deeply hurt, emotionally, sexually, and are beginning to heal.

Lingam Coffee

Sunday morning at the Airport in Cape Town, going back to Jo’burg.
I’m carrying the container with my new Yoni and Lingam, get to the security check. It goes through the scanner and they stop the conveyor belt.
It is so clear, the Lingam, unmistakable in its glory. It’s not a small piece either.

Sexual Energy

‘Was walking around in a bit of a daze afterwards.
It was amazing! I just relaxed and breathed gently through a kaleidoscope of colour. These beautiful sensations like tiny pulses moved up my body. Followed by one big intense orgasm that went right up to my heart down my arms and kept going! The contractions up my body really intense felt amazing! Never experienced one like that before! Definitely would like more of that! It felt really good and soo welcome.’

Coffee and Duct Tape

What in the world have coffee and duct tape got to do with each other?

My daughter asked me a question last night.
She phrased it more or less like this, ‘I don’t know if I want to know the answer to this but I’m asking anyway, why is there a roll of duct tape on the counter in the kitchen?’

I laughed.
This was not an uncommon question in my home.

I Found Something

I found something recently, and there might be something for you in what I’ve found.

I have always loved what I do.
When people talk about having a job I’ve never really thought of this as a job in the traditional sense.
I don’t think you can do this kind of work when you see it as a job.
I’ve always loved it.
It hasn’t always been easy, in fact there have been times of great hardship, in every way. Financially, emotionally, romantically, sexually, spiritually.
But I’ve always loved it, and can’t see myself doing much else.
Maybe a pancake bar on a beach, that’s always been a fantasy.

This Divine Body

From the ends of your toes to the tips of your fingers to the top of your head.
Your Divine Body.

There is a lifetime in your body, a lifetime of sensation, a lifetime of feelings, a lifetime of emotions.
Two, an egg, a sperm, came together to make one, you.
In this, your divine body.
There is no other like you, unique beauty in this skin.
Your skin holds you perfectly, surrounds you, gives you a home.

To make love with you, to make love to you, is to make love to all of you.
All of you, all of your divine body.

Yoni Massage and the Practice of Time

I was recently asked to teach a course on Yoni Massage for a group of practitioners.
This filled me with excitement for a few reasons.
The first is I love to teach, and I love to inspire others, and the more I’m able to inspire you, the more inspired I get, we all expand.
In this expansion, and in the teaching, in the creating of the course, in putting any workshop or retreat together, I learn. And when I learn I get more inspired to share. As I put a course together, even if it’s something I’ve been teaching for years, there are always new insights and understandings. Many of these come from the questions you ask, the discussions we have, and the practices, the practices, the practices. So much understanding emerges from the practices. This understanding allows the practice to expand.

One Manly Tear

I was watching an episode of Masterchef last week, the UK series. There was a man who had come pretty far in the competition and at one point, having got through to the next round, said that he had ‘Shed one manly tear at the emotion.’
One manly tear!
Fuck One Manly Tear!
Where are our hearts, where are our feelings, where are our voices, where are our tears?
Where are our sobs, gut wrenching, releasing all the pain we need to?

Mouth Massage

Our mouths are incredibly intimate, and they hold a key to some deep releasing, healing, intimacy, expansion and pleasure.

Over the past months I’ve been doing some work with the mouth and throat that has had a big impact on the journeys I share with you.

A while ago on a growth group I was facilitating I taught a practice of connecting with the mouth, creating an Intimacy with the mouth.

Deepening Into Love

For the past, it’s nearly two years now, I haven’t had a sexual partner, I haven’t had a lover, I haven’t had a relationship.
Not in the traditional sense.

This has been a time of going into myself, into my body, into my sensuality and sexuality.
It’s affirmed something I’ve known and taught for a long time.
Our love, our sexuality, our sensuality, our pleasure, is about us.

This Conscious Kiss

Kissing is one of the most intimate acts we can share with a partner, in fact there are times when kissing is more intimate than sex. Kissing brings us closer together than anything. Because kissing is so intimate, it also expresses our emotional state.

Kissing is the sharing of our essence. In the exchange of fluids and breath we mix ourselves with our lovers.

Sacred Yoni Massage

The sacred in me arises when I sit before you, when I look into your eyes.
The sacred in me arises when I kneel before you.
The sacred in me arises when I sit between your legs.
The sacred in me arises when I rest my hand on your heart.
The sacred in me arises when I rest my hand on your Yoni.
The sacred in me arises when I worship you.

My Orgasmic Gratitude

The energy of gratitude has such power.
It brings us into awareness, into presence.
It’s an element of intimacy.
It connects us to ourselves, to another, to life, to the world.
Gratitude heals.
There is a sense of wonder in gratitude, wonder for this life we live, for this breath we breathe, for what we feel, what we hear, what we see, what we smell, what we taste, what we feel, what we sense.
There is a wonder for this body, this heart.
There is a joy in gratitude, a joy being alive, vital, pulsating.

There’s a beautiful concept, and practice that I teach called Orgasmic Gratitude.

Coffee and a Kiss

It’s been a while since I’ve written a Coffee piece, it’s also been a while, a long while since I’ve written an erotic piece.

I remember, she said, I asked you this long ago, a little while after we’d met.
I asked you how you were going to kiss me the first time we kissed.

Our Sexual Connection

Most people who come and see me, looking for healing, as that’s where so many journeys into sensuality, into Conscious Sexuality, into Tantra begin, are looking for something.
They’re looking to connect with their sexuality.

Some of us have never had that connection, have never owned our sexuality, never been comfortable, deeply comfortable, in our sexuality.
Some of us have disconnected from it over time, through stress, through trauma, through unfulfilled experiences, unmet expectations, disappointment and so many other issues.

My Love is My Arousal

Conscious Pleasure Experiences have the amazing quality of being portals of learning, healing and growth. This is where we shift from having sex to making love. We shift from a goal-oriented experience, orgasm, to a heart-centered experience.
It’s driven by a model that has trapped men in a very narrow experience of sexuality.
It’s silent.
And it’s silence it’s become repressed, suppressed, disconnected.
It’s become angry and emotionless.
It’s a pattern of limitation, of contraction.

Changing the Lingam Pattern

For so many men the masculine expression of sexuality is hard.
It’s driving, it’s taking.
Its need based, released based.
It’s about size, performance.
It’s driven by a model that has trapped men in a very narrow experience of sexuality.
It’s silent.
And it’s silence it’s become repressed, suppressed, disconnected.
It’s become angry and emotionless.
It’s a pattern of limitation, of contraction.

The Massage High

A while ago after a deep massage exchange someone said that she feels high, trippy, spacey.
Just looking at her I could see that she was in an expanded state of consciousness. There was a glow of joy, of peace, a radiance that was palpable.

Over the years of doing and teaching massage, something has emerged that’s given me a different perspective on massage and touch.


It’s the beginning of the year so it’s a great time to introduce, and re-introduce myself to you.
There’s also a lot that’s new in my work which is another good reason.
But first, a digression, I love digressions.
The only thing that’s going to make this year different, regardless of what’s happening externally, is our own inner journeys of healing, growth, learning and experience. That’s it. There is so much more to be said about this, books have been written about, there are so many talks and videos, about it.
The simplicity of it is just that, it’s about our inner journey.

I’m For The Slow

I’m for the slow….
For in the slow we feel.
In the slow we savour.
In the slow is the subtle.
In the slow is presence.
In the slow is appreciation.
In the slow is awareness.
In the slow our hearts open.
In the slow our bodies open.
In the slow we come into awareness.
I’m for the slow…

Lessons in Sacred Sex 3

Slowly, she said to me, slowly.
Rest the head of your Lingam at the opening of my Yoni.
Be still, breathe.
Feel her open, feel her begin to invite you in, to welcome you.
This is the honoring of the temple.

Make Love with Your Hands, Make Love with Life

I talk about making love with life.
I talk about how when we hear the term ‘making love’ our thoughts go to our genitals, to sex.
I talk about how making love happens in so many ways, and our genitals and sex are just one aspect of that.
I talk about how when we live more from our Hearts, life becomes an expression of making love.
I also talk about Heart-Centered Sexuality, as being more of an expression of love, of making love, than sex.

G-Spot Holding

G-Spot Holding is a deep practice of healing and release.
It’s a practice of pleasure.
It’s a practice of feeling and sensation.
It’s a practice of intimacy and connection.
It’s a practice of energy.
It’s a practice of allowing.

Allowing in healing, as that’s where so many of our journeys begin, is important.
In allowing, the body, the wisdom within us, becomes the guide.

Coffee, Panettone and Expanded Orgasm

Coffee this afternoon is special, with one of my favorite things, Panettone, so deliciously sensual.
I am so glad we only get them for a short time in South Africa, at this time of the year.
Tonight’s workshop is also special, one of my favorites to teach. I enjoy everything I teach, Expanded Orgasm is always special as it was one of the first workshops I taught

Coffee of Loving and Longing

Coffee this afternoon is fascinating.
I’m sipping it slowly, savoring the taste, the aroma. I’m looking at the sky, the garden, the clouds. I love watching clouds. I’m listening to the birds, distant traffic.
I’ve written and deleted a few lines so many times.
It’s a delicate coffee, delicate of body, delicate of mind.

A Conscious Pleasure Experience

Coffee this afternoon is back home in Johannesburg.
There’s a rain shower, gentle rain, and I can see the sun shining in some parts of the sky, in the distance.
The sound of the raindrops falling on the different surfaces, the grass, the trees, the roof, the railings of the balcony, come together, separate.
My cup is nearly empty as I write this, something that’s been inside for a long time.

Giving Myself Away Over Coffee

Coffee this afternoon is back home in Johannesburg.
There’s a rain shower, gentle rain, and I can see the sun shining in some parts of the sky, in the distance.
The sound of the raindrops falling on the different surfaces, the grass, the trees, the roof, the railings of the balcony, come together, separate.
My cup is nearly empty as I write this, something that’s been inside for a long time.

This Sensual Moment of Oneness

On Saturday I was at The Oranjezicht Market in Cape Town.
There was a moment.
A moment of such deep sensuality that my heart swelled to having no edges that I could feel.
I was standing in one of the good areas.
Bob Dylan was coming over the sound system.
There was a carpet of voices.
There was the aroma of coffee.
There was the aroma of so many foods.
There were the colours of all the produce.
There were people, bodies.
There was the wind.
There was the sea.
I breathed it in and my heart expanded, expanded, expanded…
In a moment of sensuality. I was all those things, all those people, they were me.
Then the world came back, the boundaries of life settled back into place.

Coffee and an Offering

I’ve been thinking a lot, writing about love.
I’ve been deeper into love in myself.
And I’ve been thinking about making love.

There is often a question asked about the difference between having sex and making love.
During my yoga practice the other morning I was listening to my teacher’s voice about the Unlimited Posture.
So much about love came rushing in, particularly about the limitation we put on love.
Not only how little we allow ourselves to feel, which keeps us safe, because if you go too deep, well, everything is going to crack open.
But also the limitation on the context of love. Who we can share that with, how that needs to be.

Birthday Coffee and Love Unlimited

I’ve been aware of an expanding expression of love.
Seeds that were planted, some long ago, some more recently, coming into flower.
Deepening my Heart Breath practice, sitting more in my heart in healing, space, teaching space.

For so many of us love happens in a very specific context, in a very specific way. It happens between 2 people, and it happens with a whole lot of expectations, expressed or not, a whole lot of desires, hopes and wants, expressed or not.
Expressing love beyond this, other than to family, close friends, takes us into a deep story of patterning, conditioning, judgment and even fear.

The Heart Touch and a Rush Of Love

Over the past weeks some new practices have emerged in my work.
There’s been a mixing of massage and meditation, and a mouth massage, both of these have deepened healing and pleasure experiences enormously.
And then something else in the past week.
The only way I can describe it is a Rush of Love.

The Way of Gentleness

There are many ways to heal, to learn, to grow and to experience.
The path I’ve chosen is that of gentleness.
In gentleness we soften, we open.
We relax, we release.
We let go.
We can’t do that in tension, in contraction.
In gentleness we allow.
We connect to the wisdom within us, in our bodies, in our hearts.
We can hear, we can feel, the inner voice, the guidance.
We can move, literally and metaphorically, energetically, physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually.

Holding Presence

One of the most intriguing aspects of this journey of teaching is the learning that keeps coming.
During a Water Flow Massage experience I had a beautiful opportunity to do this. I don’t often participate in the experience, and this week I allowed myself that gift. It brought an incredibly important element of the experience, and of touch and healing work to mind. There are so many elements of this work that from time to time we tend to forget some of them.
One of the simplest, and deepest, most powerful parts of touch is holding.
With presence.
And that’s the key.

Cold Coffee and the Facts

Last week I had coffee with my social media coach, Bronwynne. (By the way, she is fantastic, if you’re looking for help with social media, I’ll happily connect you.)
I showed her what I’d written as an introduction to the workshops, and I saw from the look on her face that it wasn’t…not not good, just flowery, poetic, round-about…
It made me think of a misquote by Dan Aykroyd from an old TV series, ‘Just the facts, ma’am, just the facts’.

Expanded Energy Orgasm

There is such power, such possibility in being relaxed, deeply relaxed, in pleasure.
The body opens, energy begins to flow.
From our sexual centre to the heart, and higher, spreading through the body.
A wave of sexual energy that releases so much that is blocked within us, within the tissues of our body.
A wave of sexual energy that fills us with gentle vitality.
A wave of sexual energy that fills us with gentle bliss.
A wave of sexual energy that melts us, expands us.

A Conscious Mouth

This idea arose from a place of deep pleasure, from a place of intimacy with my body, from a place of conscious connection and awareness with my body.
For so many of us the relationship we have with our bodies is, at best, functional.
I say at best as we’ve been conditioned not only out of our bodies and more into the mind, but also out of liking, accepting and loving our bodies.

An Embrace

There is one thing we all need at the moment.
All of us, wherever we are on the rainbow of life, in every way there can be.

One of the effects of the pandemic, and its own pandemic, is the disconnect, the isolation, the separation we’re experiencing.
The impact of this, on our bodies, our hearts, our minds, our energy, goes deep. It contracts us, contracts every aspect of our health and well-being, on every level of being human.

More than ever we need to be embraced.