THE SECRET INNER FLINCH (OF S**)
This is the secret, then we’ll talk about what makes it a secret.
So many women flinch inside when the subject of sex tonight, later, in an hr, when we get into bed, is brought up.
What makes it a secret?
So many women know about this.
So few men do.
A MAN AWAKENING TO PLEASURE
I sat with a couple in a lesson yesterday and saw a moment of such beauty, such power, such awareness, and such liberation.
It was an awakening. It happened in a moment. It touched me deeply, filled me with joy, with celebration, with wow. And I wasn’t the one experiencing it.
THERE IS GREAT RISK IN DEEP PLEASURE
There is a great risk in deep pleasure, in allowing ourselves to go to that place.
The place where we become one with another.
The place where we become one with life.
The place where we feel the Divine within us.
And in time, where we live as Divine.
The risk is that we reveal ourselves.
We allow ourselves to be seen.
TOUCH AS MEDITATION, THE FEELING OF PRESENCE AND INTIMACY
There is touch that heals, touch that soothes, touch that calms.
There is touch that arouses, touch that excites, touch that pleasures.
There is touch that opens, touch that releases, touch that relaxes.
THE INNER AND OUTER JOURNEY OF SE*UAL EXPLORATION
For all the years of doing this work in Conscious Sexuality, there’s been something coming up from the beginning.
It’s always been there, and a lot at the moment.
‘I, or we, would like to explore our sexuality.’
BEING PRESENT IN PLEASURE MIGHT NOT BE WHAT YOU THINK
We talk about this a lot, being present in pleasure.
Being present in sex.
Definitely, absolutely, so important.
We talk about breathing to be present, how to touch in a way, that giving and receiving, we’re present. We talk about coming into presence with eye-gazing, Yab-Yum, dancing.
EXPANDING THE DIMENSIONS OF FOREPLAY
I was thinking about foreplay.
I was thinking about how compartmentalized and, in a way, one-dimensional, so many of us experience that.
I was thinking about how limited the way we express this, in how little we use our bodies and our senses.
THE NUMBING IMPACT OF PATTERNED SEX
When I began this journey of teaching, facilitating, and for want of a better word for now, healing, a framework emerged that I use to this day.
One of the cornerstones of it is patterns.
Patterns of the mind, patterns of the body.
THE MEDICINE OF PLEASURE
Pleasure is medicine.
Sexual energy is medicine.
Consciousness is the key.
THE CONVERSATION OF TOUCH, PT 2: LISTENING
I shared a piece a few weeks back called The Conversation of Touch. It’s about the inner space of touch, some of it anyway, the intention in touch.
This is a deep exploration, the inner expression of touch, and with honesty, it’s an incredibly revealing enquiry. It shows us a great deal of why we touch, what we’re looking for, what we’re expressing, what we’re actually doing, in touch.
POLITENESS IS IN THE WAY OF PLEASURE
What I can share with you, in a world that’s just looking for quick fix, for easy answers, and 1, 2, 3 steps, is the road less traveled.
A road that’s been traveled in many different ways, by explorers and adventurers, with their own feet. Their own bodies, their own hearts. Not just theories and formulas they’ve learned.
THE PLEASURE POSSIBILITIES OF THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED
What I can share with you, in a world that’s just looking for quick fix, for easy answers, and 1, 2, 3 steps, is the road less traveled.
A road that’s been traveled in many different ways, by explorers and adventurers, with their own feet. Their own bodies, their own hearts. Not just theories and formulas they’ve learned.
IF YOU WANT TO BE F** GOOD AT F**
If you want to be F******* good at F******,
there are a few important things.
To be F****** good at F******* you can’t be lazy. You can’t flop on top, make a few half-hearted thrusts, have a groan of an ejaculation, roll off and reach for your phone, or fall asleep.
THE 4-LETTER WORD THAT CHANGES OUR PLEASURE
There is a 4-letter word that in today’s world is revolutionary when it comes to sex and pleasure.
The extension of that is it’s pretty revolutionary in life.
Slow.
That’s it, slow.
Slow TFD, literally.
THE UNIVERSE OF THE YONIVERSE
There’s a word that’s in the New Age, Neo-Tantra, Sort-of-Spiritual lexicon., until this morning, and something changed.
Yoniverse.
THE DANCE OF LIFE,OF LOVE
I came out of a meditation today by slowly, so slowly, opening my eyes.
It probably took about 2 minutes to open my eyes fully.
As they were open I became aware of the play, the dance, of light and dark.
How the light and the dark are not separate, they’re not different.
THE SMALL THINGS ARE REALLY THE BIG THINGS
One of the most powerful relationship learnings is how the small things are actually the big things.
And how the small things, with awareness, with consistency, become deep expressions of intimacy.
THE DELICIOUS POWER OF THE AFTERGLOW
What happens afterwards might be more important than what happens before.
We spend a fair amount of time talking about the importance of foreplay, and if you’re lucky, as a woman, a fair amount of time in foreplay.
I teach a workshop called Conscious Connection and Intimacy, which is even before the foreplay, and is a really important part of our pleasure and sexual experiences.
THE SUBTLE POWER OF TAOIST SEXUAL ENERGY MASSAGE
The very first thing I started teaching was Taoist Sexual Energy Massage.
I didn’t know much then, about 30 years ago, and it was taught in quite a sexual context.
I’d never received or experienced the massage, so I only saw what it did.
Then I taught it to a partner, who did it for me.
OUR (UNNATURAL), AND ACCEPTED GENITAL JUDGEMENT
So many of us, with not many exceptions, hold a Genital Judgement.
Against ourselves, and others, partners, lovers.
It’s not ours, not naturally.
It was given to us, by so many industries.
THE AUTHENTIC CONNECTION OF CONSCIOUS SENSUAL TOUCH
Conscious Sensual Touch creates authentic connection.
Which is what so many of us are longing for.
And which so many of us find uncomfortable.
A SE**ALITY THAT’S ALIVE AND PULSATING
Here’s an outrageous suggestion, What if Tantra wasn’t about having more sex, better sex?
Firstly, it’s not outrageous, but we love these deeply emotive words.
And what happens if there’s something in that, that having more, better sex, is actually a by-product?
FROM NEED TO CHOICE FOR MEN
There are some things that I let go of a long time ago that changed my sexuality and pleasure.
It impacted on my relationships, with my sexuality, my body, my lovers
The Importance And Possibility Of Cliteracy
Cliteracy is being clitorally literate, whether it’s yours, or someone else’s, that you have the honour of touching, caressing, stroking, licking…
Cliteracy is knowing the full anatomy of this beautiful organ, which has only quite recently been fully mapped, and continues to be discovered.
THE POWER OF QUIET DEPTH IN SEXUAL HEALING
I’d like to share something that might not be very popular, as it goes against what so much of the web is showing, but it might have a little bit of truth in it.
And it might help some of us feel that we’re OK, that our experience is OK, where we are is OK, and that we can relax a little.
Because a lot of sexuality work, a lot of spiritual work actually has come to have a lot of pressure, expectation and performance attached to it.
SPONTANEOUS AND RESPONSIVE DESIRE, AN EXPLORATION OF POSSIBILITY
Essentially, we have 2 types of desire, Spontaneous Desire and Responsive Desire.
Learning a little about these is vital in our world today, and how they connect to our pleasure and relationships, both with ourselves and another.
I’M JONTI, YOU MUST BE MY PLEASURE BEING
There is a part of us that most of us have never been properly or fully introduced to.
My friend Galen Fous calls it our Sex Creature, I call it our Pleasure Being.
Without this introduction, and the relationship that comes from it, it’s hard to have a full, deep, open and expansive pleasure life.
THE EARTH, WATER AND FIRE OF LINGAM MASSAGE
We’ve been talking a lot about Yoni Massage, today we’re talking about Lingam Massage.
When I teach this, essentially I teach the practical part of the massage in 3 parts, Earth, Water and Fire.
Which, BTW, is one of the ways that energy moves in the body.
THE YONI MASSAGE OF SPACE, SPIRAL
AND SURRENDER
Earlier this week we were talking about Yoni Massage, what it may or not be.
There’s a really interesting model for this, which actually goes much deeper, into how we view, and do, sex and pleasure.
It’s also one of the ways we can understand how differently men and women view pleasure.
IN THE BEGINNING, YONI MASSAGE
I’d like to share a part of my story with you.
This happened a long time ago.
I’d been doing this work for a little while and a couple contacted me about learning something, I think Expanded Orgasm.
We spent a wonderful evening in a hotel room, sharing, talking.
THE FEELING MEDICINE OF INTIMACY
I was watching a series on the weekend, Landman S2.
In one of the episodes there’s a scene that’s so close to one of the processes we do in Water Flow Massage.
This is a touch experience, it’s in an indoor, heated pool, soft lighting, gentle music.
THE MOVEMENT (OF PLEASURE) IS IN THE STILLNESS
There are so many levels of pleasure, of sensation, and of sexual experience.
Most of us sadly stay in the shallows, on the surface.
Not as a judgement, simply what we do, for so many reasons.
It’s easier, takes less effort, we don’t have to put in as much energy, we don’t have to learn, porn, movies, social media, religion, all keep us in the shallows.
THE TECHNIQUE OF TECHNIQUES PT 1
Many of us want to be good lovers, great lovers, extraordinary lovers.
We want to give our partners the most amazing pleasure experiences we can.
And that is just fantastic, because so many people do have bad, boring, unfulfilled sex.
THE PLEASURE OF THE WHOLE BODY
A while ago I facilitated an experience of sensual exploration and self-pleasuring.
Let me set the scene for you.
Everyone was blindfolded, allowing us to go inside of ourselves, where the touch, the sensation, the feeling was the focus.
THE INTENTION OF THE PENETRATION
Touch is a language that goes inside of us, deeper than words, to a place of knowing, that often can’t be expressed in words.
Touch is feelings, energy.
Touch is the language of the heart, the spirit.
Touch is the language of the wisdom of the body.
THE URGENCY OF SE*&AL PERFORMANCE
There is a sexual urgency in so many men that is a blockage to pleasure.
It’s an urgency to get hard, to get inside, to ejaculate.
It’s an urgency to perform, to succeed.
It’s an urgency that creates so much tension inside of us.
It’s an urgency based on fear, on failing.
THE FASCINATING GOSPEL OF CONNECTION
I spend more time in connection, in sessions, before doing anything.
In connection, something arises rather than us deciding what to do.
I spend more time teaching about connection than teaching what to do.
I spend more time in the awareness that what we do, without a time of connection, without a depth of connection, has a level of emptiness.
THE GENTLE HEALING OF CONSCIOUS SENSUAL TOUCH
I’d like to share a story with you.
It’s one of so many that happens.
All of us who do this work have so many experiences to share of how this heals, changes, releases, transmutes, transforms…
It’s a story of how Conscious Erotic Massage helps heal and move things that are not sexual.
IT’S SO SUBTLE, SO POWERFUL
Thinking about how pleasure starts way before the body, before we touch.
Thinking about how desire, sex, intimacy, love are energy.
The yes or no, the opening of the body, the heart, happens before the touch, the kiss.
THE DEEP AND MYSTICAL EXPERIENCE OF A HOLDING O
‘I felt this so deeply, and so deep inside my Yoni.
As the intensity of the points increased and the pleasure expanded, I realised that as soon as I thought about it, about letting go, or had any thought, it disappeared. And when I just let go the waves of pleasure were amazing.
COFFEE AND THE BEAUTIFUL, MYSTERIOUS CERVIX
I taught an online Perineal Massage lesson last night. I had to do it on my phone, my computer has gone to be repaired.
Instead of sharing the images I use, I had to use the pictures. This morning I walked past the table and saw the close-up of a cervix.
DEPTH REQUIRES DEVOTION, FOR PLEASURE AND LOVE
I read a line in a post a little while ago that affirmed something I know well, and that’s connected to my work.
Depth requires devotion.
Such simple words.
Depth requires devotion.
THE STORY OF THE CONDITIONED CLITORIS
Most clitori are touched in a very patterned and conditioned way.
In a very narrow way.
In a very limited way
Most clitori are touched in a way that is such a small part of the story.
THE SENSUAL RITUAL OF THE BATH
Today on the sexual calendar is one of my favourites.
It’s Shower With A Friend Day.
And I’ve expanded this to one of my favourite things, Bath With A Friend.
And then I’ve expanded it even more into a ritual that is deeply sensual, erotic, intimate and pleasurable.
MALE SEXUAL AWAKENING IS A THING!
There’s something that we don’t really talk about, don’t really think about.
Male sexual awakening.
Which is a thing, a real thing.
And it can be just as life-changing.
A FULL-BODY BREAST ORGASM
A full-body energy orgasm from having one breast, one nipple stimulated.
I share this with you because of the possibility.
I share this with you to show how limitless pleasure is.
I share this with you to show what’s in our bodies.
I share this with you to show the power of sexual energy.
THE AROUSING EXCITEMENT OF A CONSCIOUS QUICKIE
A while ago I shared an idea I had with a group I have.
It was to write a piece of erotica/sensuality in 20 words or less.
There was some delicious sharing in this, and it made me think about something.
BROKEN PANCAKES, CREATIVITY, LOVE, LIFE…
If you know me well, you know that I love pancakes.
This morning I made some blueberry cottage cheese pancakes, which were so delicious.
One bite exploded blueberry juice in my mouth, down my chin, sublime, a joy!
FREEDOM, CREATIVITY, PLEASURE – THE BEAUTIFUL POSSIBILITY
I’m running a retreat in a few weeks called The Erotic Encounter. It’s an annual event, this year the theme is Freedom.
Contemplating this, gathering the elements for the event, is so exciting for me.
I love to create, in many ways, I love to write.
And I love to create experiences, events, workshops, for both clients and lovers.
I AM LOST IN YOU
I am lost in you
I’m lost in your body
And nothing else exists right now
I’m lost in the landscape of your body
And there is no other place right now
