THE CONVERSATIONS OF PLEASURE, LOVE AND LIFE
A while ago I was giving a talk at an event and a woman there said, ‘I could never have that kind of discussion with my partner.’
And this was a comment on a piece I shared a while ago, ‘And sadly enough it’s so many of us are struggling to open up to people we love the most.’
WELCOME TO PLEASURECRAFT, FLIGHT 2025
Welcome to PleasureCraft, Flight 2025
This is your captain speaking
On this journey we’ll be cruising at various altitudes that will take us down into the underworld and up to the heights of ecstasy
We ask that you begin by loosening your body and opening your mind
THE POSSIBILITY OF THE PATH OF PLEASURE
A while ago someone asked me why I was, in their perception, ‘seemingly obsessed’ with pleasure.
Now most social media comments can be taken with a pinch of salt, I gave this some thought.
On the surface that’s what I do, I teach about pleasure.
THE SENSUAL YOGA OF YAB-YUM
And in all the ways of touching there is something so simple, yet so deep.
So simple that we often overlook it.
So simple that we bypass it to get to ‘the good stuff.’
Holding.
Holding another.
THE CONVERSATION OF THE BODY IN TOUCH
One of the most beautiful expressions of touch, of conscious touch, is connection.
To touch as an expression of connection, an expression of intimacy.
To touch with the intention of the conversation of our bodies.
A CONSCIOUS EROTIC EXPERIENCE
There is a woman on a bed, she’s blindfolded, her hands are tied. Her partner is sitting at her head.
SUCH IS AN EXPRESSION OF SACRED SEXUALITY
There’s a beautiful concept of a Conscious Lingam, as well, of course, of a Conscious Yoni.
There’s also a beautiful concept of a Sacred Lingam, Sacred Yoni.
THE DIVINE POSSIBILITY OF YONI OPENING
At the moment many women are reaching out with a desire to have deeper, more fulfilling experiences.
For some women it’s about being able to have sex without pain.
For some women it’s about having an orgasm.
For some women it’s about feeling desire.
HEALING THE WHOLE (SEXUAL) BODY
I work with people on journeys of sexual, sensual, erotic healing, learning, exploring, growing.
I’m interested in depth and connection on these journeys rather than quick-fix, surface answers that so much of our world looks for, and so much on the internet promises.
THE MEDICINE OF THE PLEASURE TOUCH
Once you’ve experienced The Pleasure Touch
Once you’ve experienced The Conscious Touch
Once you’ve experienced Sacred Touch
You’ll know
You’ll know the medicine of this touch.
THE SENSUAL TOUCH OF GENEROSITY
I’ve been teaching and doing massage, touch, bodywork, in many ways for over 25 years.
I’ve also been thinking about, writing about it. And in this time we get to deep places, subtle places, we get to the qualities of touch.
FIRE SEX
I was thinking about Hard Sex and Fire Sex.
They’re not the same thing.
Fire Sex is presence.
Fire sex is my entire body, my eyes, my mouth, my throat, my voice, my heart, my belly, my Lingam, my pelvis, my legs.
SOFT-C&CK S*X, SOFT HEART S*X
We’ve been talking about Soft-C&ck Sex, and something emerged as I was thinking about this.
Soft-C&ck S*x, Soft-Heart S*x.
And this doesn’t necessarily mean not having an erection.
THE POWER OF MEN RECEIVING, GENTLY, SLOWLY
What I share, I share from what I experience in my work, in sessions and workshops, the questions that people ask.
I love the discussions, and what comes from them, the work and workshops, the practices, and more and more I see the invitation in these.
THE DELICIOUS FREEDOM OF SOFT-C&CK SEX
One of the most limiting definitions of male sexuality and male pleasure is an erection.
The bigger the better, the harder the better.
And women have bought into this as much as men.
IF YOU WANT TO GO DEEP, GO SLOW
If you want to go deep
Go slow
If you want to go deep
Go soft
If you want to go deep
Stay there
If you want to go deep
Let it flow
From your heart
A SOFTER WAY OF PLEASURE
Opening is expansion
Softness is welcoming
Gentleness is tender
Intimacy is vulnerability
Breathing into the heart
Consciousness is presence
Energy is flow
THE IMPORTANT PRESENCE OF PLEASURE
‘I wanted to thank you for taking the time with me yesterday.
Half of my problem is that I know I take long, and I shy away because I feel no one will want to put that effort in for me.’
YOU, YOUR YONI, YOUR LINGAM, DESERVE MORE
Your Yoni or your Lingam, you, deserve more.
They deserve more than simply being rubbed, by ourselves, by others, mostly hard and fast to the orgasm of release.
Your Yoni/Lingam deserve more than simply penetrating, being penetrated, to the friction, to the orgasm of release.
4 SECRETS OF SENSATION
As a sex educator and healer, a workshop facilitator and massage teacher there’s a question I get asked lots.
How do we have better sex?
Now what better sex actually is is its own discussion.
SACRED YONI, BEAUTIFUL YONI, YONI WORSHIP
For most of my life, most of this journey, which has been more than 25 years, I have worshipped Yoni, worshipped Women, loved Yoni, loved Women.
Goddess.
All of you, whether you know it or not, whether you’ve lived it or not.
THE EROTIC POWER OF A WHISPER
I’d like to share an erotic possibility with you.
I use the word possibility because it’s not a technique, that would reduce it to mechanics.
Maybe experience would be a better word, but I still prefer possibility because of where it can take you.
SEXUAL AWAKENING, LIFE AWAKENING
Recently I’ve been doing a lot of work with people, men and women, whose sexuality is waking up.
This isn’t something new, I’ve been doing this for a long time and I’d like to share some of the elements of this with you.
Sexual Awakening is stepping into the field of possibility.
THE LIMITLESS WAYS OF MAKING LOVE
I love to love, and I love to make love.
One of the understandings on this journey is how many ways there are to make love, and what amazing, limitless doors of possibility this idea opens for us.
Many of us hear that phrase, making love, and our minds go to something genital, something penetrative, something with an orgasm, hopefully for everyone involved…
THE MAGIC OF THE MYSTERIOUS, EXPANDED YONI KISS
A long time ago I came across an old book on sexuality, I used to collect them.
There was a claim in this book, based on ancient knowledge, that after an hour of oral stimulation, Yoni nectar became a magical elixir with all sorts of amazing, magical properties.
Being a dreamer and a romantic, I loved the idea.
BEING A GOOD LOVER IS BEING…
There is a really interesting aspect of being a good lover that we don’t always connect with sex.
Almost everyone who shares a healing and growth with me at some point says that they’re amazed at how it has everything to do with sex and nothing to do with sex.
This is the same.
THE SACRED TOUCH OF SERVICE
So much of our touch wants something.
So much of our touch is for something else, leading to something else.
So much of our touch, even subconsciously, has an expectation in it.
So much of our touch is for a reaction, a response.
And because touch is a language of the body, the body, even subconsciously, picks up what’s in the touch.
THE TOUCH THAT SEEKS TOUCH
There is a touch that seeks touch
There is a heart that seeks another
There is love that seeks love
There is pleasure that seeks pleasure
There’s a beautiful concept that what we seek is seeking us.
THE HEALING OF THE DEEP EROTIC SPACE
The Deep Erotic Space is an experience of energy, sexual energy, vitality, life-force.
It’s a space of the connection between the body and the heart.
It’s a space of deep relaxation and release.
It’s a space of softening and opening.
THE MEDITATION OF TOUCH
There is a touch that is slow, so slow.
There is a touch that is gentle, so gentle.
It comes from the heart, an energy that flows through your body into your hands so that your hands become your heart.
It comes from your breath, aligning your resonance.
THE INNER (SEXUAL) JOURNEY TO THE HEART
A while ago I shared a piece about a massage threesome, something we do lots, a deep and sensually sacred experience.
After that I received a lot of messages about where people could have this experience.
In conversation it emerged that most people were interested in this purely from a sexual space, an arousal space, a ‘getting off’ space.
LESSONS IN SACRED SEXUALITY 6
Look into my eyes
She said
Look into my eyes
As you enter my body
That you enter my heart
That you enter my being
That you enter me
TO KISS, SIMPLY FOR THE KISS
Mostly, everything we do with a lover is because it’s about getting to the next thing.
We kiss so I can touch your breasts. I touch your breasts so I can touch your Yoni. I touch your Yoni so I can be inside you. I’m inside of you so I can have an orgasm.
CLITINTIMACY
The other day I was doing a clitoral massage. This was in the space of healing, of pleasure, of energy, of sensation. It was about her receiving in a space of deep relaxation, breathing deeply, slowly. The touch was very, very gentle, very, very slow. It wasn’t about orgasm, if that happened it happened.
THE SPIRAL OF THE DIVINE PLEASURE PRESENT
Something fascinating changes when we shift perspective from having sex to experiencing pleasure.
Actually, a lot changes.
But recently something came to awareness that I’ve never thought about before.
Here’s what it is.
We stop going in straight lines.
LESSONS IN SACRED SEXUALITY 4
Our sex, our touch, our pleasure has so many dimensions.
One of the these is the conscious and subconscious intentions we bring to our experiences. And an element, a strong element of this is our need for our partner’s to be a certain way, react in a certain way, respond in a certain way.
THE SUBTLE POWER OF STILLNESS
In the conversation we had last night, it’s on my page, Christos and I spoke about the power of the subtle.
There’s a thing with sex, as soon as we’re inside someone, or someone is inside us, to move.
It’s almost as if our pelvis has a life, a will of its own, as if we’re programmed to move.
Stop.
THE POWER OF MEN RECEIVING
I’ve recently shared a few pieces on male sexuality and sensuality.
I share from what I experience in my work, in sessions and workshops, the questions that people ask.
These pieces have sparked some beautiful, deep and challenging discussions, questions and conversations.
I love the discussions, and what comes from them, the work and workshops, the practices, and more and more I see the invitation in these.
THE ACCEPTING, LOVING SPACE OF A LINGAM PUJA
I have been doing some very non-traditional Yoni and Lingam Puja experiences.
This week I shared this space with a man.
Here we sit, 2 men.
2 naked men, looking into each other’s eyes.
FALLING IN LOVE WITH YONILINGAM
How different our pleasure would be, how different our sex would be, if we were in love, if we loved, our lover’s YoniLingam.
LESSONS IN SACRED SEXUALITY
One night I asked her how many lovers she’d had.
She teased me first, do you mean men and women, she said.
I was shocked at the number she told me.
How can that be sacred I asked?
She nodded, that’s an important question, there’s a lot to understand about it.
AND YONI SPOKE TO ME
As we free ourselves from patterning and conditioning, from inhibitions and shame, we open to a fuller life.
As we become more aware of the vitality, the creativity, the force of our sexuality, we are able to change so much within ourselves, our lives, our world.
THE PENETRATION OF THE LIMITLESS POSSIBILITIES OF PLEASURE
I was thinking about penetration, penetrative sex, and I was thinking about how narrowly we see that.
Firstly, for many of us the definition of sex is penetration, Lingam in Yoni, penis in vagina, or anus.
And for many of us, without penetration, there’s no fulfilment, something lacking, the experience is incomplete.
WOMEN’S DAY, WOMEN’S PLEASURE, THE MYSTERY OF SACRED SEXUALITY
What makes it sacred?
When I look at you with eyes that see the Divine in you.
When I kiss you with a mouth that thirsts for the Divine.
When I touch you with hands that long to pray on the altar of your body.
WOMEN’S DAY, WOMEN’S PLEASURE, TOGETHER IN LOVE
It’s Women’s Day in South Africa on Fri.
For over 25 yrs I’ve been sharing journeys of healing, growth exploration, experience and learning, mostly with women.
I share a lot about women’s pleasure, women’s sensuality, sexuality and eroticism.
And later in the week I’m going to share more about that.
I’d like to start the week with something different, something for men.
THE POWERFUL SOUND OF A YONI WHISPER
It’s not often Yoni is touched with a whisper.
So often she’s touched with a shout, a yell, a demand.
When you think about the contraction, the withdrawal that brings, the tension in so many Yoni’s makes sense.
THE MAGIC OF THE SLOW
There is magic in slow.
There is such power in slow.
Slow brings us into presence.
All else drifts away naturally when we are present.
There is no struggle in slow, there is surrender, to this moment, to our body, to our breath, to sensation, to feeling.
In slow there is flow. The way we move becomes a natural expression of the quiet within.
This is the quiet of intimacy, of connection.
In slow we are aware, expanded.
In slow we feel, we go deeper, gently, easily.
Nothing is forced, we are aligned.
In slow there is softness, energy that moves within me, within you, that surrounds us, moves between us, cocoons us.
In slow there is no time, we drift into endlessness. Each breath, each touch, each movement goes on and on and we see the depth of who we are as we melt into space.
Let the slow begin with your breath.
Into your heart, out from your heart.
Deepening.
Let the slow move into your eyes as you look at your lover, eyes soft as your inner vision awakens.
Let your kiss be slow, the meeting of your lips a caress that’s barely there.
Let the dance of your mouths be slow, an exploration that sips you into me.
Let your touch be slow, so slow.
I feel your skin, your body with a stroke that just moves. Your curves, your valleys, your mountains, endless under my slowly moving hands.
Slowly I breathe you into me, your scent, your breath. I fill my lungs with you to the bottom of my breath.
Let your union be slow, so slow, even slower.
Let your body receive your lover as a flower opens to the morning sun.
Allow yourself to be drawn into this sacred flower, spreading her petals in exquisite sensation.
In the slow you breathe your expansion, filling her with your heat.
In the slow you dance deeper and deeper in the liquid mystery.
Each movement, each breath, fills your body.
In the slow you are open for the energy to move through you.
In the slow you go beyond the mind, beyond the body, into awareness.
In the slow we become one with each other, with life.
There is healing in the slow.
Deep healing, deep release as that we’ve held onto, that which has held onto us, dissolves.
There is intimacy in the slow.
Deep intimacy.
The slow brings us into presence.
Presence is an element of intimacy.
There is magic in the slow.
It takes time, it takes practice to be present.
It takes time for us to learn and feel and appreciate the subtle, and oh, how delicious the subtle is.
Millimeter by millimeter we open, micro-movements.
It takes time for us to find the place within us that can be without constant stimulation, that allows energy to move, to flow, to feel that flow, to observe it and be in it.
There is learning in the slow, teaching in the slow as it draws us deeper within and we listen to the inner voice, we learn to hear it speak without words.
There is magic in the slow.
In this dance of endless possibility.
IF YOU’RE SEXUALLY BORED YOU MUST BE ASLEEP!
Over time many people have come to see me because they’re sexually bored.
I’ve been teaching in the field of Conscious Sexuality for over 25 years, and this is a pretty common thing. In fact in long-term relationships it’s one of the biggest sexual issues that people encounter. And sometimes it doesn’t have to be experienced in a long relationship.
Often we’re bored with our own sexuality, which often has nothing to do with our partner’s, it’s so much about us.
THE BODY, MIND, HEART, TOUCH OF HEALING AND GROWTH
All my life I’ve been fascinated by the connection between the mind and the body, thoughts and feelings, the spiritual and the corporeal, energy..
How this connection expands into the heart, intuition, our sexual centres, the wisdom of the body.
How they connect, how we heal and grow, how we learn in them, with them, through them.
It can’t ever be a question of one or the other.
On this journey, of healing, growth and experience, they’re so entwined within us, if we ignore, suppress, repress one, we’re doing less than half of what we need.
FROM TIGHTNESS TO LIGHTNESS, IN HEART TOUCH
There is, within so many of us, a tightness, a tension, a contraction.
It’s been there for so long, we don’t even know it’s there.
It’s been there for so long, it’s become who we are.
It’s a tightness of the body, a tightness of the mind, a tightness of the heart, a tightness of spirit.
It’s in our muscles, our bones, our joints.
It’s in our thoughts.
It’s in our feelings.
