THE YONILINGAM PUJA OF WORSHIP AND PLEASURE
I have recently been doing some experiences that have many different elements.
There are elements of pleasure, deep pleasure. Elements of adoration, of puja, of worship. Elements of poetry. Elements of meditation. Elements of intimacy. Elements of creativity. Elements of spirituality. Elements of physicality.
SOUP AND SEX, WHAT’S ON THE MENU?
I was making a pot of soup earlier today and it took my mind somewhere interesting.
I thought about the taste I wanted, I thought about the feeling I wanted, I thought about the seasoning I wanted.
THE BEAUTIFUL, LONG AND WINDING ROAD OF YONI MASSAGE
My journey with Yoni Massage has been, to quote the song, a long and winding road, that has led me to many doors. So many.
So many that have taught me so much about myself, about giving and taking, about service and intimacy, about love and vulnerability, about life in so many ways.
THE IMPORTANT COMMUNICATION OF SENSUAL, NON-SE***L TOUCH
One of the most important things for us to learn, especially in relationship, is non-sexual sensual touch.
THE LIMITLESS WORLD OF SENSUAL CREATIVITY
I have recently been doing some very interesting experiences with rope, touch, movement, sound, visualization and breath, in a way I’ve never done before.
THE POWERFUL SOUND OF A YONI WHISPER
It’s not often Yoni is touched with a whisper.
It’s not often Yoni is touched with an invitation.
It’s not often Yoni is touched with welcoming.
EXPLORING A BODY, EXPLORING A LIFE
The exploration of a body is the exploration of a life.
The exploration of a body is the exploration of a world.
The exploration of a body is timeless, limitless.
The exploration of a body is the exploration of intimacy.
IF I KNOW YOUR SECRETS
If I know your secrets
And you know mine
And we’re still here in the morning
This Divine Body
From the ends of your toes to the tips of your fingers to the top of your head.
Your Divine Body.
There is a lifetime in your body, a lifetime of sensation, a lifetime of feelings, a lifetime of emotions.
Two, an egg, a sperm, came together to make one, you.
In this, your divine body.
There is no other like you, unique beauty in this skin.
Your skin holds you perfectly, surrounds you, gives you a home.
To make love with you, to make love to you, is to make love to all of you.
All of you, all of your divine body.
TOUCH AS MEDITATION, THE FEELING OF PRESENCE AND INTIMACY
There is touch that heals, touch that soothes, touch that calms.
There is touch that arouses, touch that excites, touch that pleasures.
There is touch that opens, touch that releases, touch that relaxes.
THE INNER AND OUTER JOURNEY OF SE*UAL EXPLORATION
For all the years of doing this work in Conscious Sexuality, there’s been something coming up from the beginning.
It’s always been there, and a lot at the moment.
‘I, or we, would like to explore our sexuality.’
BEING PRESENT IN PLEASURE MIGHT NOT BE WHAT YOU THINK
We talk about this a lot, being present in pleasure.
Being present in sex.
Definitely, absolutely, so important.
We talk about breathing to be present, how to touch in a way, that giving and receiving, we’re present. We talk about coming into presence with eye-gazing, Yab-Yum, dancing.
EXPANDING THE DIMENSIONS OF FOREPLAY
I was thinking about foreplay.
I was thinking about how compartmentalized and, in a way, one-dimensional, so many of us experience that.
I was thinking about how limited the way we express this, in how little we use our bodies and our senses.
THE NUMBING IMPACT OF PATTERNED SEX
When I began this journey of teaching, facilitating, and for want of a better word for now, healing, a framework emerged that I use to this day.
One of the cornerstones of it is patterns.
Patterns of the mind, patterns of the body.
THE MEDICINE OF PLEASURE
Pleasure is medicine.
Sexual energy is medicine.
Consciousness is the key.
THE CONVERSATION OF TOUCH, PT 2: LISTENING
I shared a piece a few weeks back called The Conversation of Touch. It’s about the inner space of touch, some of it anyway, the intention in touch.
This is a deep exploration, the inner expression of touch, and with honesty, it’s an incredibly revealing enquiry. It shows us a great deal of why we touch, what we’re looking for, what we’re expressing, what we’re actually doing, in touch.
POLITENESS IS IN THE WAY OF PLEASURE
What I can share with you, in a world that’s just looking for quick fix, for easy answers, and 1, 2, 3 steps, is the road less traveled.
A road that’s been traveled in many different ways, by explorers and adventurers, with their own feet. Their own bodies, their own hearts. Not just theories and formulas they’ve learned.
THE PLEASURE POSSIBILITIES OF THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED
What I can share with you, in a world that’s just looking for quick fix, for easy answers, and 1, 2, 3 steps, is the road less traveled.
A road that’s been traveled in many different ways, by explorers and adventurers, with their own feet. Their own bodies, their own hearts. Not just theories and formulas they’ve learned.
IF YOU WANT TO BE F** GOOD AT F**
If you want to be F******* good at F******,
there are a few important things.
To be F****** good at F******* you can’t be lazy. You can’t flop on top, make a few half-hearted thrusts, have a groan of an ejaculation, roll off and reach for your phone, or fall asleep.
THE 4-LETTER WORD THAT CHANGES OUR PLEASURE
There is a 4-letter word that in today’s world is revolutionary when it comes to sex and pleasure.
The extension of that is it’s pretty revolutionary in life.
Slow.
That’s it, slow.
Slow TFD, literally.
THE UNIVERSE OF THE YONIVERSE
There’s a word that’s in the New Age, Neo-Tantra, Sort-of-Spiritual lexicon., until this morning, and something changed.
Yoniverse.
THE DANCE OF LIFE,OF LOVE
I came out of a meditation today by slowly, so slowly, opening my eyes.
It probably took about 2 minutes to open my eyes fully.
As they were open I became aware of the play, the dance, of light and dark.
How the light and the dark are not separate, they’re not different.
THE SMALL THINGS ARE REALLY THE BIG THINGS
One of the most powerful relationship learnings is how the small things are actually the big things.
And how the small things, with awareness, with consistency, become deep expressions of intimacy.
THE DELICIOUS POWER OF THE AFTERGLOW
What happens afterwards might be more important than what happens before.
We spend a fair amount of time talking about the importance of foreplay, and if you’re lucky, as a woman, a fair amount of time in foreplay.
I teach a workshop called Conscious Connection and Intimacy, which is even before the foreplay, and is a really important part of our pleasure and sexual experiences.
THE SUBTLE POWER OF TAOIST SEXUAL ENERGY MASSAGE
The very first thing I started teaching was Taoist Sexual Energy Massage.
I didn’t know much then, about 30 years ago, and it was taught in quite a sexual context.
I’d never received or experienced the massage, so I only saw what it did.
Then I taught it to a partner, who did it for me.
OUR (UNNATURAL), AND ACCEPTED GENITAL JUDGEMENT
So many of us, with not many exceptions, hold a Genital Judgement.
Against ourselves, and others, partners, lovers.
It’s not ours, not naturally.
It was given to us, by so many industries.
THE AUTHENTIC CONNECTION OF CONSCIOUS SENSUAL TOUCH
Conscious Sensual Touch creates authentic connection.
Which is what so many of us are longing for.
And which so many of us find uncomfortable.
A SE**ALITY THAT’S ALIVE AND PULSATING
Here’s an outrageous suggestion, What if Tantra wasn’t about having more sex, better sex?
Firstly, it’s not outrageous, but we love these deeply emotive words.
And what happens if there’s something in that, that having more, better sex, is actually a by-product?
FROM NEED TO CHOICE FOR MEN
There are some things that I let go of a long time ago that changed my sexuality and pleasure.
It impacted on my relationships, with my sexuality, my body, my lovers
The Importance And Possibility Of Cliteracy
Cliteracy is being clitorally literate, whether it’s yours, or someone else’s, that you have the honour of touching, caressing, stroking, licking…
Cliteracy is knowing the full anatomy of this beautiful organ, which has only quite recently been fully mapped, and continues to be discovered.
THE POWER OF QUIET DEPTH IN SEXUAL HEALING
I’d like to share something that might not be very popular, as it goes against what so much of the web is showing, but it might have a little bit of truth in it.
And it might help some of us feel that we’re OK, that our experience is OK, where we are is OK, and that we can relax a little.
Because a lot of sexuality work, a lot of spiritual work actually has come to have a lot of pressure, expectation and performance attached to it.
SPONTANEOUS AND RESPONSIVE DESIRE, AN EXPLORATION OF POSSIBILITY
Essentially, we have 2 types of desire, Spontaneous Desire and Responsive Desire.
Learning a little about these is vital in our world today, and how they connect to our pleasure and relationships, both with ourselves and another.
I’M JONTI, YOU MUST BE MY PLEASURE BEING
There is a part of us that most of us have never been properly or fully introduced to.
My friend Galen Fous calls it our Sex Creature, I call it our Pleasure Being.
Without this introduction, and the relationship that comes from it, it’s hard to have a full, deep, open and expansive pleasure life.
THE EARTH, WATER AND FIRE OF LINGAM MASSAGE
We’ve been talking a lot about Yoni Massage, today we’re talking about Lingam Massage.
When I teach this, essentially I teach the practical part of the massage in 3 parts, Earth, Water and Fire.
Which, BTW, is one of the ways that energy moves in the body.
THE YONI MASSAGE OF SPACE, SPIRAL
AND SURRENDER
Earlier this week we were talking about Yoni Massage, what it may or not be.
There’s a really interesting model for this, which actually goes much deeper, into how we view, and do, sex and pleasure.
It’s also one of the ways we can understand how differently men and women view pleasure.
IN THE BEGINNING, YONI MASSAGE
I’d like to share a part of my story with you.
This happened a long time ago.
I’d been doing this work for a little while and a couple contacted me about learning something, I think Expanded Orgasm.
We spent a wonderful evening in a hotel room, sharing, talking.
THE FEELING MEDICINE OF INTIMACY
I was watching a series on the weekend, Landman S2.
In one of the episodes there’s a scene that’s so close to one of the processes we do in Water Flow Massage.
This is a touch experience, it’s in an indoor, heated pool, soft lighting, gentle music.
THE MOVEMENT (OF PLEASURE) IS IN THE STILLNESS
There are so many levels of pleasure, of sensation, and of sexual experience.
Most of us sadly stay in the shallows, on the surface.
Not as a judgement, simply what we do, for so many reasons.
It’s easier, takes less effort, we don’t have to put in as much energy, we don’t have to learn, porn, movies, social media, religion, all keep us in the shallows.
THE TECHNIQUE OF TECHNIQUES PT 1
Many of us want to be good lovers, great lovers, extraordinary lovers.
We want to give our partners the most amazing pleasure experiences we can.
And that is just fantastic, because so many people do have bad, boring, unfulfilled sex.
THE PLEASURE OF THE WHOLE BODY
A while ago I facilitated an experience of sensual exploration and self-pleasuring.
Let me set the scene for you.
Everyone was blindfolded, allowing us to go inside of ourselves, where the touch, the sensation, the feeling was the focus.
THE INTENTION OF THE PENETRATION
Touch is a language that goes inside of us, deeper than words, to a place of knowing, that often can’t be expressed in words.
Touch is feelings, energy.
Touch is the language of the heart, the spirit.
Touch is the language of the wisdom of the body.
TOUCH IS THE WISDOM OF THE BODY
Touch is a language that goes inside of us, deeper than words, to a place of knowing, that often can’t be expressed in words.
Touch is feelings, energy.
Touch is the language of the heart, the spirit.
Touch is the language of the wisdom of the body.
THIS WHOLE BEAUTIFUL BODY
We sometimes forget how amazing, how beautiful, how mysterious, how wonder-full the whole of the body is.
This body of ours, from the tip of our fingers to our toes to the top of our heads is an endless word to discover, explore and experience.
This Touch of Possibility
I was thinking about all the massage experiences I teach and do.
Conscious Sensual Massage, a vast field of healing and pleasure, Taoist Sexual Energy Massage, Kashmiri Massage, Water Flow Massage, Yoni Massage in its many expressions of healing and pleasure, Lingam Massage and the different ways we can do that, Breast Massage, Anal Massage, Mouth Massage, Sensual Bondage Massage/Awakening the Senses, Earth Massage, Liquid Light and more.
I was thinking about how important touch is for us, more so at the moment due to the isolation, the disconnect, the loneliness, the fear so many of us have been in the past two years.
I was thinking about how when I developed The Heart Touch so much changed in the way I teach.
Three (Erotic) Things
Three things, just three things.
And so much happens with these three things.
They could be any 3 things, and today I chose these. Rope, a blindfold, a flogger.
The strands of the flogger are made of rubber. They give a sensation, a sting, not pain.
They can also be stroked across the skin, your skin, across your whole body. They can be stroked over your legs, your thighs, the inside of your thighs, your groin crease. They can be stroked over your Yoni or Lingam. They can be stroked over your belly, your breasts, your back, your neck. They’re not just for flogging. And even that can have different sensations. One stroke. And then a pause.
Maybe a few, maybe in the same place, maybe all over. Then a pause.
Then maybe my fingertips, so softly over where the flogger struck.
Or my mouth close to your skin, blowing.
One Journey, Thank You
We’ve shared a lot this year, you and I.
Some in person, some on the other side of a screen, some reading what I write, some on my DVD’s and programmes.
I am grateful for all of it.
I learn from our discussions, questions and comments, whatever they are.
I learn about myself, and this year, maybe more than ever, has been some of the deepest learning. It’s also been a year of looking deeper into myself than ever, with more truth than ever.
I learn about this journey, this work. As much as I can call it work, because it’s a joy to share what we do.
The Dance of the Heart
‘My touch is the dance of my heart on your body.’
I wrote this line and shared it in an image a few days ago, then I read it a few times.
Earlier in the day I shared a massage swap that began with an extended time of Eye-Gazing, Heart Connection, our energies merging.
I was receiving, as much as there is giving and receiving in this space.
My partner did things she’s never done before, and I felt things I’ve never felt before.
And as I read that line again I realized that that’s what massage in that deep space is.
The dance of the Heart.
And that filled me with wonder.
The dance emerges, it has rhythm and flow, rests and pauses.
It’s a dance that never was danced before, it never will be again.
Not quite like this.
The Freedom of Sacred Saliva
Let’s start with this.
What makes saliva sacred?
Nothing, other than it’s an element of our Divine body, and as everything, every bodily fluid, is part of us, in this Divine body.
And if we were more aware of this, we would probably do some things very differently. I certainly know I would have.
Now let’s talk about the freedom of saliva.
Man to Man Kashmiri Massage
For a man to sit opposite another man and to look into his eyes is powerful.
For a man to sit naked opposite another man is powerful.
For a man to hold his hands out to another man is powerful.
For a man to be acknowledged by another man is powerful.
For a man to sit with his heart against that of another man is powerful.
For a man to be held by, to hold, another man is powerful.
For a man to breathe with another man is powerful.
For a man to be touched, to touch, another man is powerful.
For a man to receive from another man is powerful.
Be Still and Know
I went to dancing on Saturday night, around the fire, with the wind and some rain.
Sensual.
And primal.
Moments of just the music in my ears and my body moving, the earth beneath my feet, the sensation on my skin.
In one way so simple, something ancient.
Moving to music.
It does do much, on so many levels for us, thus dance.
I often compare the dance to massage, the dance of my hands on your skin. The sensation of the touch, the space it opens in your body, the stillness within, the intimacy of our eyes meeting for a moment.
I feel new space open in my body, in my dance. The deep stillness when the movement stops.
