The Dance of Yoni Massage

Look into her eyes.
Just breathe.
There are no thoughts in this moment.
There is the opening to love.
Breathe into your heart.
Just breathe.

The Massage of Making Love

Can you touch this body as if you were making love?
Not making love as most of our world sees it.
Making Love.
Your hands expressing your heart.
Taking care.
Each movement gentle, slow, deep.
Making Love with your touch.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 19

I was looking through a Dropbox folder that had some pictures from a shoot we did a few years ago.
There were some pictures of a double massage, two people massaging one person, four hands on a body.

It’s a beautiful experience that heightens the sensations, sometimes radically. The Erotic aspect of it can be incredible. Four hands make so much more stimulation possible, so many places can be touched at the same time.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 18

One of the biggest blockages to experiencing and exploring the world of erotic massage is the story.
The story is deeply ingrained and impacts on women more than men.
It’s a story that reflects the fullness of the story of sexuality and pleasure.

The story is in the past.
It’s rooted in judgement, inhibition, guilt and shame.
It’s religious, it’s political and it keeps us disconnected from the possibilities of pleasure.
It keeps us trapped in a system that represses sexuality and pleasure.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 17

We live in a world obsessed with measuring things, with the rightness or wrongness of so many aspects of life based on measurement.
We judge people, give them value by how much they have.
This obsession has led to an incredibly warped view of what normal is.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 16

I had a beautiful experience last week, I taught a sensual massage lesson to a couple in their seventies who have been married for 52 years.
It’s not the first time people this age have come to a workshop or retreat, and it is beautiful every time it happens.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 15

One of the most beautiful, and most powerful, gifts that an Erotic Massage experience gives us, is the gift of receiving.

For so many women sex and pleasure come with many unstated rules and beliefs. There are many unwritten expectations that have not changed in a long time. Some of the deepest of these are that women’s pleasure is secondary, that pleasure is transactional and that reciprocation is a line with great unfairness.

Touch is a language, a communication that often goes deeper than words.
It tells of an authenticity that you feel deep inside, especially when that touch is from the heart.
The hands that touch you, hold you, caress you, stroke you, acknowledge your body.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 14

One of the most beautiful, one of the most powerful, and one of the most healing ways of being seen and acknowledged is through touch.

Touch is a language, a communication that often goes deeper than words.
It tells of an authenticity that you feel deep inside, especially when that touch is from the heart.
The hands that touch you, hold you, caress you, stroke you, acknowledge your body.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 13

There’s an interesting idea about healing, and life.
For so long we’ve been convinced that it’s about learning, about lessons, about fixing the problems, about diagnosing, putting it into a box with labels.
And then we’ll understand it.
And then we’ll know what to do with it, about it.

The 4 Secrets of Sensation

As a sex educator and healer, a workshop facilitator and massage teacher there’s a question I get asked lots, as I’m sure many of my colleagues do.

How do we have better sex?
Now what better sex actually is is its own discussion.
But there are 4 secrets that will change the way you have sex and deepen the experience, the intimacy and sensation.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 12

I was recently asked why I use the word ‘erotic’ and not ‘tantric’.

Every word has connotations, meanings, which are different in different parts of the world.
They’re also different internally, meaning different things to us individually. And that can change over time, and with the experiences we have, and as our understanding of who we are and what we do, how we express ourselves changes.

The Love Sex Expo

I spent four days last week at The Love Sex Expo in Pretoria, South Africa.

I gave 13 presentations and 8 massage demonstrations.

I spoke to so many people at my stand where we were selling the range of DVD’s I’ve produced, talking to people about workshops and retreats.

And healing.

Talking to people about healing.

And listening.

Listening to their stories, their issues.

Come Home

Come Home

Come home.

Come home to yourself.

Come home to your body, to your heart.

Come home to feeling, your feelings, your sensations,your emotions.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 11

A while ago I was sitting with some colleagues, facilitators in different fields.
One of them said to me ‘I wish I was brave enough to attend one of your workshops.’
I was really surprised at that. These were people who do some pretty deep work.
But sexuality and pleasure are a different world, especially our own.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 8

There’s something interesting that happens from time to time, with women more than men.
A woman will come and talk about healing because her body isn’t very sensitive, she doesn’t get very aroused from being touched and she’d like to change that.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 6

The very first Taoist Sexual Energy Massage I did with a man was an interesting initiation. He had both nipples pierced, three genital piercings and various other piercings.
I was young, sexually, and body inexperienced. To say that this was a stretch was putting it mildly.
In time I came to experience so many bodies, types of bodies, variations, things people did to their bodies. I doubt that I’ve seen it all, simply because the human possibility in every way is without limits.

The Making of an Erotic massage Therapist Pt 5 – The Bliss Body

We have a pain body, and most of us know that well, we live from it.
We also have a Bliss Body.

We have a shadow, when we do growth work, healing work, we come to know the shadow well.
We also have a Bliss Body.

We don’t know the Bliss Body.
It’s subtle and deep, maybe the deepest part of who we are, and maybe the most subtle.
It’s the place where Source and Form meet.

Awakening The Beast – On The Path of Sexual Authenticity

A few weeks ago I wrote a piece called Exploring The Fire.
Since then I’ve had conversations with and Sat with people in my office who have all said something similar, and most of them have used exactly the same words.
‘I want to meet my beast.’

Men and Women.
‘I want to meet my beast.’

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 4

When you do this work from the heart, when you touch from the heart, it’s intimate.
Not only bodily intimate.
And the intimacy is what makes so much possible.
It opens the heart more and yet more.
It allows more energy to flow, through me, from me, through you, for you.
And for me.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 2

When you know a little about energy, a little about sexual energy, a little about the body, a little about arousal, you can turn someone on really easily. You can take them to orgasm easily.
It often doesn’t take a lot if you know a little.
Especially the way most women have been touched.

A Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Nobody prepares us for love.
And maybe nobody can.
But we can go beyond the illusion.
Beyond what Hollywood and the media portrays love to be.
Beyond the myths we’re fed about love.

Because love is messy. It creates upheaval.

The Silent Suffering

For so many people sex is the place of silent suffering.
For so many men there is still such a stigma, such embarrassment, such shame about having a sexual problem.
For most men this is around erection problems, early ejaculation, loss of desire and libido, a lack of intimacy and even a lack of interest in sex.
Sexual performance, sexual prowess.
That’s what it’s become to be about for men.
And in truth what it’s come to be about is sexual pressure, emotional pressure.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 1

I’d like to share some of my journey with you, what brought me to this point as an erotic massage therapist and teacher.

I’ve been doing this for over 20 years and it’s a journey of continuous learning, expansion, growth, exploration, understanding and connection.
It’s about the body, it’s about the mind, it’s about the heart, it’s about energy, it’s about sexuality, it’s about sensuality, it’s about eroticism, it’s about intimacy and more.

Sensual, Erotic, Tantric Poetry

You open your body and you take me into you.

You open more and take me deeper and even deeper into you.

Space within your Yoni seems to be without end, boundless, as you give yourself to me.

And I, I too take you into me.

Yoni Healing Massage Pt 2

I begin with guiding her through 3 breaths, each one deeper and slower.
One hand in her heart, the other on her yoni.
Slowing down.
Then 5 points on the pubic bone.

Yoni Healing Massage

Yoni Healing Massage and Yoni Pleasure Massage are not always the same.
Pleasure massage, with a heart touch, and an intention of Honouring, of giving, of connection, will always have a healing element.
Healing Massage is different.
It’s a specific practice, or rather, series of practices with a very clear intention.
To heal, to release, to relax, to soften, to open, to sensitise, to vitalise, to connect, to embody.

If I Were To…

If I were to write something today about sex and energy I would write that sex changes when it becomes an energy experience more than a physical one.
That the physical, our bodies, our beautiful bodies, and our genitals, our delicious genitals, Yoni and Lingam, are portals to worlds of energy, to worlds of experience, to worlds of intimacy that, like the universe, are without limit.

My Massage Journey

My journey in healing began with massage and I have reconnected with this in such a beautiful and deep way.
Bodywork, touchwork, have always been a big part of what I do, from the understanding that our patterns are in the mind and in the body.
We are energy, our bodies are energy.

The State Of Orgasmic Potential

The body is a field of possibility.
By being more in the body we can access that field.

Orgasmic energy is a field of possibility.
Be being more in that field we can be more in an orgasmic state.

Pelvic Tension, Sexual Tension, Life Tension

We all carry an enormous amount of tension in our bodies and in different aspects of our being.
This tension is one of the greatest blocks to us experiencing deep levels of sensual and sexual pleasure.
The tension we hold has become second nature for so many of us. In fact, beyond that, it’s become our nature. It’s so deeply ingrained that we often don’t even know it’s there, and more than that, we have no idea how we’d be without it. It’s become our definition.

Yoni/Lingam Holding Healing

Before the movement there is holding.
Before the stroke there is stillness.
Before the caress there is quiet.
One of the most beautiful and powerful ‘strokes’ of massage is not moving at all.
It’s holding.
In stillness.
In presence, deep presence.

Sacred Erotic Massage

There is a world of experience where the erotic is an expression of the sacred.
There is a touch that comes from somewhere beyond the body, from somewhere else in my being.
There is a touch that comes from the heart, that flows through the heart into the hands.
There is a touch that is an expression of honouring, of devotion.
There is a touch that is a prayer, a meditation.
There is a touch that includes your whole body.

A New Massage

It’s always been my intention, in the 30 years, I’ve been doing and teaching massage, touch and bodywork, to create beautiful experiences.
In this, the exploration has been endless, and I’ve often said that the world of touch without limits. I’ve seen this again and again as new understandings are reached, new perspectives realized, and new techniques and practices are developed.

Learning About The Fire

There are so many myths about sex.
There are so many myths about sexuality.
There are so many myths about desire.
There are so many myths about what women want.
There are so many myths about what men want.

The Slow Magic

There is magic in slow.
There is such power in slow.
Slow brings us into presence.
All else drifts away naturally when we are present.
There is no struggle in slow, there is surrender, to this moment, to our body, to our breath, to sensation, to feeling.

A Self-Pleasuring Energy Experience

This is a self-pleasuring experience that will allow you to experience your sexual energy.
When we can build that energy, that beautiful, powerful, vital sexual energy, when we can build it and then keep it inside of us, there is an intelligence within that will use that energy.

What Has Become Of Us?

There is something that I’ve been hearing so much lately in my work.

‘I can’t tell him that, it’s going to hurt his ego.’
Is this what we’ve become, us men.

A Ritual of Offering

There is such power in ritual in a relationship.
It’s an experience of consciousness, of presence.
In this space we come together with an intention.
We come into intimacy, we come into our hearts, we come into our bodies.

Beyond Pleasure

There’s a fascinating idea in Conscious Sexuality that allows us to look at sexuality differently, and opens up a world of possibility.
It’s about going beyond pleasure.

The Meditation Of Touch

There is a touch that is slow, so slow.
There is a touch that is gentle, so gentle.
It comes from the heart, an energy that flows through your body into your hands so that your hands become your heart.

We Remember The Sacred

There are not many women who have been fully sexually satisfied.
Deeply fulfilled to the core of their being.
Touched, soul touched, heart touched.
Body replete.
Given herself totally, utterly.
Every level of her being open, exposed, safe, loved, respected, honoured, worshipped, elevated.

The impact of this is tension in the tissues of the yoni, often around and just inside the opening. This causes pain, particularly during penetration, whether it’s a finger or a cock.
The tension that sits in the tissues prevents sensation, so what should be alive, awake, receptive and open is numb, tender or painful.

Inside, Too Quickly

Many women have been penetrated too quickly, often way before their bodies are ready to have something inside.

The impact of this is tension in the tissues of the yoni, often around and just inside the opening. This causes pain, particularly during penetration, whether it’s a finger or a cock.
The tension that sits in the tissues prevents sensation, so what should be alive, awake, receptive and open is numb, tender or painful.

Healing The Body Slowly

One of the most important elements of what I teach is that we live in patterns and that most of our patterns are not conscious. We’re not aware of them, we simply do what we do, what we know, what we think works, what we’re comfortable doing.

Yoni Disconnect

There are so many things that disconnect women from their sexuality, from their bodies, from their yoni’s and from their pleasure.

My Own Journey

Over the past months I’ve experienced a deep sadness.
I’ve felt it in my body, in my being, in my energy, in my heart.

This Place, Beyond

This experience is available to all of us.
It can’t really be described as our words limit our understanding.
It can but be experienced.

Stay In Your Body

Our body is an intelligence, a consciousness, an awareness.
It’s in the body and it is the body.
To be with it, to experience it, to feel it, we need to learn to stay in the body.
We need to establish a relationship, a connection with our body.
It’s an intimacy with our body, an intimacy beyond words, beyond thought, beyond the mind.
It’s a quiet knowing.