The Silent Suffering
For so many people sex is the place of silent suffering.
For so many men there is still such a stigma, such embarrassment, such shame about having a sexual problem.
For most men this is around erection problems, early ejaculation, loss of desire and libido, a lack of intimacy and even a lack of interest in sex.
Sexual performance, sexual prowess.
That’s what it’s become to be about for men.
And in truth what it’s come to be about is sexual pressure, emotional pressure.
The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 1
I’d like to share some of my journey with you, what brought me to this point as an erotic massage therapist and teacher.
I’ve been doing this for over 20 years and it’s a journey of continuous learning, expansion, growth, exploration, understanding and connection.
It’s about the body, it’s about the mind, it’s about the heart, it’s about energy, it’s about sexuality, it’s about sensuality, it’s about eroticism, it’s about intimacy and more.
Sensual, Erotic, Tantric Poetry
You open your body and you take me into you.
You open more and take me deeper and even deeper into you.
Space within your Yoni seems to be without end, boundless, as you give yourself to me.
And I, I too take you into me.
Yoni Healing Massage Pt 2
I begin with guiding her through 3 breaths, each one deeper and slower.
One hand in her heart, the other on her yoni.
Connecting.
Slowing down.
Breathing.
Then 5 points on the pubic bone.
Yoni Healing Massage
Yoni Healing Massage and Yoni Pleasure Massage are not always the same.
Pleasure massage, with a heart touch, and an intention of Honouring, of giving, of connection, will always have a healing element.
Healing Massage is different.
It’s a specific practice, or rather, series of practices with a very clear intention.
To heal, to release, to relax, to soften, to open, to sensitise, to vitalise, to connect, to embody.
If I Were To…
If I were to write something today about sex and energy I would write that sex changes when it becomes an energy experience more than a physical one.
That the physical, our bodies, our beautiful bodies, and our genitals, our delicious genitals, Yoni and Lingam, are portals to worlds of energy, to worlds of experience, to worlds of intimacy that, like the universe, are without limit.
My Massage Journey
My journey in healing began with massage and I have reconnected with this in such a beautiful and deep way.
Bodywork, touchwork, have always been a big part of what I do, from the understanding that our patterns are in the mind and in the body.
We are energy, our bodies are energy.
The State Of Orgasmic Potential
The body is a field of possibility.
By being more in the body we can access that field.
Orgasmic energy is a field of possibility.
Be being more in that field we can be more in an orgasmic state.
Pelvic Tension, Sexual Tension, Life Tension
We all carry an enormous amount of tension in our bodies and in different aspects of our being.
This tension is one of the greatest blocks to us experiencing deep levels of sensual and sexual pleasure.
The tension we hold has become second nature for so many of us. In fact, beyond that, it’s become our nature. It’s so deeply ingrained that we often don’t even know it’s there, and more than that, we have no idea how we’d be without it. It’s become our definition.
Yoni/Lingam Holding Healing
Before the movement there is holding.
Before the stroke there is stillness.
Before the caress there is quiet.
One of the most beautiful and powerful ‘strokes’ of massage is not moving at all.
It’s holding.
In stillness.
In presence, deep presence.
Sacred Erotic Massage
There is a world of experience where the erotic is an expression of the sacred.
There is a touch that comes from somewhere beyond the body, from somewhere else in my being.
There is a touch that comes from the heart, that flows through the heart into the hands.
There is a touch that is an expression of honouring, of devotion.
There is a touch that is a prayer, a meditation.
There is a touch that includes your whole body.
A New Massage
It’s always been my intention, in the 30 years, I’ve been doing and teaching massage, touch and bodywork, to create beautiful experiences.
In this, the exploration has been endless, and I’ve often said that the world of touch without limits. I’ve seen this again and again as new understandings are reached, new perspectives realized, and new techniques and practices are developed.
Learning About The Fire
There are so many myths about sex.
There are so many myths about sexuality.
There are so many myths about desire.
There are so many myths about what women want.
There are so many myths about what men want.
The Slow Magic
There is magic in slow.
There is such power in slow.
Slow brings us into presence.
All else drifts away naturally when we are present.
There is no struggle in slow, there is surrender, to this moment, to our body, to our breath, to sensation, to feeling.
A Self-Pleasuring Energy Experience
This is a self-pleasuring experience that will allow you to experience your sexual energy.
When we can build that energy, that beautiful, powerful, vital sexual energy, when we can build it and then keep it inside of us, there is an intelligence within that will use that energy.
What Has Become Of Us?
There is something that I’ve been hearing so much lately in my work.
‘I can’t tell him that, it’s going to hurt his ego.’
Is this what we’ve become, us men.
A Ritual of Offering
There is such power in ritual in a relationship.
It’s an experience of consciousness, of presence.
In this space we come together with an intention.
We come into intimacy, we come into our hearts, we come into our bodies.
Beyond Pleasure
There’s a fascinating idea in Conscious Sexuality that allows us to look at sexuality differently, and opens up a world of possibility.
It’s about going beyond pleasure.
The Meditation Of Touch
There is a touch that is slow, so slow.
There is a touch that is gentle, so gentle.
It comes from the heart, an energy that flows through your body into your hands so that your hands become your heart.
We Remember The Sacred
There are not many women who have been fully sexually satisfied.
Deeply fulfilled to the core of their being.
Touched, soul touched, heart touched.
Body replete.
Given herself totally, utterly.
Every level of her being open, exposed, safe, loved, respected, honoured, worshipped, elevated.
The impact of this is tension in the tissues of the yoni, often around and just inside the opening. This causes pain, particularly during penetration, whether it’s a finger or a cock.
The tension that sits in the tissues prevents sensation, so what should be alive, awake, receptive and open is numb, tender or painful.
Inside, Too Quickly
Many women have been penetrated too quickly, often way before their bodies are ready to have something inside.
The impact of this is tension in the tissues of the yoni, often around and just inside the opening. This causes pain, particularly during penetration, whether it’s a finger or a cock.
The tension that sits in the tissues prevents sensation, so what should be alive, awake, receptive and open is numb, tender or painful.
Healing The Body Slowly
One of the most important elements of what I teach is that we live in patterns and that most of our patterns are not conscious. We’re not aware of them, we simply do what we do, what we know, what we think works, what we’re comfortable doing.
Yoni Disconnect
There are so many things that disconnect women from their sexuality, from their bodies, from their yoni’s and from their pleasure.
My Own Journey
Over the past months I’ve experienced a deep sadness.
I’ve felt it in my body, in my being, in my energy, in my heart.
This Place, Beyond
This experience is available to all of us.
It can’t really be described as our words limit our understanding.
It can but be experienced.
Stay In Your Body
Our body is an intelligence, a consciousness, an awareness.
It’s in the body and it is the body.
To be with it, to experience it, to feel it, we need to learn to stay in the body.
We need to establish a relationship, a connection with our body.
It’s an intimacy with our body, an intimacy beyond words, beyond thought, beyond the mind.
It’s a quiet knowing.
Yoni Healing
Yoni Healing is slow, so slow.
It’s gentle, so gentle.
It’s allowing, not making, not forcing, not rushing.
It’s allowing your body to release, to soften.
To release the past.
My Connected Male Body
The relationship we have, with our genitals is not conscious, at best it’s functional, and deeper than that it’s contractive, it’s fearful with comparison, with a level of performance, with a lack of information and knowledge. There’s no connection with our hearts, and what that energy represents.
This Conscious Kiss
For so many of us kissing is a prelude, something we do that leads to something else. And for some people it’s something they have to do to get to the next step.
Conscious Kissing is its own incredible moment of being. There is nothing else other than the delicious sensation, the feeling, the taste of our mouths.
Conscious Receiving
There’s an element of touch that I don’t think we’re always aware of because we focus so much on the giving of touch.
Receiving touch.
Consciously Receiving your lover’s touch.
Sensual Bondage Massage
It’s a touch experience that takes you deep into your body, into your energy, using a range of sensations.
It’s a place where sensation and emotion come together.
It’s an exploration of the possibilities of sensation, from the subtle, oh so subtle, to a little firmer, to the sting of something that sends waves throughout your entire body.
The Best Time
When we’re present, when we’re in this moment, when we’re connected to ourselves, when we’re open, when we’re in a space of intimacy, with ourselves, more than anything else, this moment is the best there is.
And it’s never about comparing anything.
This moment is everything.
The Heart Touch
When I started teaching The Heart Touch the way I taught massage changed so much.
Sensual Curiosity
Curiosity is one of the most important elements of vitality. It helps keep us interested and interesting.
In a relationship it’s one of the qualities that contribute to fulfillment.
Slow Union
There’s a practice I teach called Slow Union.
Over time this practice reveals almost endless gifts to us as it releases that which prevents us going deep into pleasure and the myriad, mystical, magical gifts we find there.
Sexual Healing, The Paths of Possibility
I sat in my studio this morning with a client, listening to her sexual story, her desire to have the experiences she knew were there, to feel the things she knew were possible.
I was thinking about my journey, working in the field of Conscious Sexuality for 20 yrs.
It’s a full-body massage that works with the body’s meridian system, bringing healing to the entire being every time you experience it.
It’s slow, taking you into a state of deep relaxation, and gentle, allowing the relaxation to be enhanced, and making release possible.
Taoist Sexual Rhythm
One of the deepest practices that I offer and teach is Taoist Sexual Energy Massage.
It’s a full-body massage that works with the body’s meridian system, bringing healing to the entire being every time you experience it.
It’s slow, taking you into a state of deep relaxation, and gentle, allowing the relaxation to be enhanced, and making release possible.
Words on My Lover’s Body
If you wrote a poem on your lover’s body, what would it say?
Even your imaginary lover, the lover that you would like to have, the lover you dream about.
Where on their body would you write it?
The Shifting Sands of Perception
Last week in my practice there were some amazing realizations that came through shifting perspectives and asking different questions.
Asking different questions allows us to see things differently. When we can see things differently we can do things differently.
And one of the most powerful understandings from this is the power of questions, to be more engaged, more curious, more open.
Taking It Deep Into The Body
‘I just lay there and cried. In 47 years I had never been touched so gently. For 47 years my body, and my Yoni, a new word for me, as there were so many new things on this journey, had never been touched so gently.
Disneyland and The Holy Grail
So many of us are looking for the Disneyland of sex, love and pleasure. We think that’s where it is, the ultimate.
It’s like a roller-coaster or ghost-train. It’s a thrill. A quick thrill. There are some laughs. Your stomach hits your throat. There’s an adrenaline rush. Blood rushing through your body. There are some screams. You’re holding on really tight, muscles clenched.
Tell Me Something Different!
Most of my work is in the field of Conscious Sexuality and Relationships, which means that that’s what most people come and see me for, and that’s where most journeys start.
However, as our sexuality doesn’t happen in a vacuum, rather in the fullness of the context of our lives, as do our relationships, healing and growth journeys need to be in the same context.
Heart-Centered Healing
There’s a model of healing I keep coming back to. It’s challenging because it challenges the way we look at healing.
It’s not about fixing the problem.
And that’s the problem.
We’ve been convinced we have to fix the problem, whatever it is.
How about if we didn’t?
How about if there was another way?
Sitting With Love
I sat alone in the night and I asked Love to come and sit with me.
I know Love in all its exquisite savagery, in all its terrible beauty.
I know the gentleness and tenderness of Love, its warmth and safety.
I know the home that Love brings, the belonging.
The Questions We Shouldn’t Ask
There are some questions we shouldn’t ask.
Because the answers make us uncomfortable, they make us squirm inside.
Because if we ask them we might have to do something about it.
Because if we ask them we bring certain things into the light of day, we acknowledge their existence, and maybe they’re best left unsaid.
The Art of Sensual Massage
The deeper we go into Sensual Massage, the deeper we go into art.
The art of touch, the art of communication, the art of intention, the art of presence, the art of awareness, the art of consciousness, the art of connection, the art of intimacy, the art of vulnerability, the art of power, the art of love, the art of the heart, the art of the body.
